Top 10 mobile games that demand a sexy revamp

Hot Chocolate, Marvin Gaye and Rod Stewart must surely be playlist staples in mobile game publisher offices around the world. How else to explain the explosion in sexed-up games, if the developers aren't filling their ears with 'You Sexy Thing', 'Sexual Healing' and 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' on a daily basis?

We've had Sexy Pillowfight, Sexy Vegas, Sexy Soccer, Sexy Poker, Sexy Pool, Sexy Blocks and of course Sexy Babes Wild Waterslides in recent memory, with more to come soon, judging by Glu's recent comments about erotic titles being Big In Germany.

It seems pretty much any mobile game is ripe for a sexy revamp, so we've done the publishers' work for them, and rounded up ten already rather great games that would (probably) sell like even hotter cakes if given the boobs 'n' bikini treatment.

Suffice to say the images below are artist's impressions only and not (as yet) officially condoned by the publishers concerned.

Top 10 sexy mobile games to be…

1. Sexy DChoc Cafe Forget kitting your avatar out in Cafe Solitaire with new boots and an Afro hairstyle. It'd be all about the 38E breast implants and cheesegrater thongs in a sexy rewrite. And that's just the male avatars, etc… Cafe Solitaire review
2. Playman Extremely Sexy Running Who said you couldn't dive across the rooftops in high heels and a bikini? Cue slow-mo BayWatch running shots. Playman Extreme Running review
3. Emergency Sexy Mayhem Wouldn't need much changing from the original, actually: just more nurses, bigger firemen's hoses, and a Carry On licence. Emergency Mayhem review
4. Super Sexy Pac-Man Replace the white dots with blue Viagra pills, and the theme tune with Benny Hill music, and you're sorted. Super Pac-Man review
5. Tetris: Sexy Edition The only thing that could possibly boost Tetris' sales figures further on mobile, let's be honest. (Hasn't this been done already with Sextris? – Ed.) Tetris Ultra review
6. Sexy Resident Evil Anyone who says zombies can't vamp it up clearly hasn't seen landmark 'adult' movie Porn of the Dead. Or is that just us? Oh. Anyway, remember Milla Jovovich in the Res Evil films? Pretty sexy, right? Resident Evil: The Missions review
7. Sexy Snakes If Nokia wanted to be high-minded, it could rewrite Snakes with a theme focusing on the psycho-sexual temptation of Eve in the Garden of Eden. If not, it could just replace the snakes with willies. Its choice.
8. Real Sexy Football We're 95 per cent sure that Gameloft actually has a crack team of 258 developers working on this already. Forget Ruud Gullit and Mourinho and get some footballer's wives for the licence! Real Football 2008 review
9. Sexy Street Fighter II Would appeal to generations of teenage boys who had those thoughts about Chun-Li (or, in a few cases, Blanka). Street Fighter 2: Champion Edition review
10. My Sexy Dog A niche title for the (ahem) specialist market, this, with… actually, maybe not. My Dog review Desperate for more? We've reviewed a few good adult mobile games over the years.