Here's a fascinating bit of trivia for you, fact fans. Did you know that Stuart Copeland, formerly the drummer in '80s rock band The Police, composed the music for the original Spyro games on the PSone? No, me neither. It's pretty damn cool, though. Way cooler than Sting, who's spent his post-Police days practising tantric sex with Trudie Styler (or so we were told) whilst generally being as obsequious and annoying as humanly possible.
But we digress. This is supposed to be a review of cutesy wootsy little game about a fuzzy wuzzy little dragon. It's not an excuse to rant about a man whose musical worth you could pack into an antique lute and still have room for the fat behind of Henry VII. So we're going to stop before Sting calls in his lawyers, we promise.
Right. Spyro the Dragon. The Eternal Night. It's not bad, but it's no masterpiece. This is a platformer where Spyro has to explore and fight his way through a series of stages, his goal being to defeat an evil and terrible force that has invaded his land. At any rate, that's as much of the plot as we could follow before falling asleep.
Spyro's main movement is to run, jump and glide, his weapons a brutal headbutt and his 'magical breath'. No, it's not a technique to woo the ladies, but in fact a form of elemental magic where he can shoot fire, lightning, wind and ice through his nostrils. The multi-directional controls are on the right side of acceptable, and each stage is presented in a linear fashion with a network of platforms to work through (though, for reasons which become apparent, players can revisit them once they've been completed).
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There's also the occasional side-scrolling shooter stages, with Spyro flying through the air, collecting gems and despatching waves of enemies. It's a nice distraction, except the controls are nowhere near as responsive as they need to be. Spyro often finds himself stuck behind a boulder as the camera moves on, after which it's quickly game over.
The graphics are bright but spooky, with an exaggerated gothic style for each major stage. The end-of-level bosses, meanwhile, are particularly impressive – having been designed with some degree of meticulous flair – although they're ridiculously easy to beat.
But even though the game looks and feels really good, it's not the most sensational thing we've played on a mobile. Younger players should find something to enjoy, what with the cartoon graphics and the mildly diverting gameplay, but older players will find themselves wondering when Spyro is going to properly take flight. They might be waiting a while.
Before we go, a word about the music. It's excellent. We're not sure if Stuart Copeland is the man responsible, but someone was smart enough to take their cues from his work and build on it. Smarter than Sting, at the very least.
A slick looking game with high production values. But the pacing is lumpy and there's a feeling of bouncing from one stage to the next with little overall consequence. In short, it's not too exciting
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