The best iPhone 4 reception spoofs

Apple's 1-month-old baby iPhone 4 may be breaking more records than Usain Bolt, but it has a problem. No, not the proximity sensor. The other one. Yep, the antenna.

According to company CEO Steve Jobs, the issue of iPhone 4's mobile reception has been wildly exaggerated in the media.

In fact, the loss of signal experienced when gripping handsets in a certain way is, Steve reckons, a thorn in the side of the entire smartphone industry.

Painful as that may be for the 0.55 percent of iPhone 4 customers who have complained to AppleCare, the lovers, fighters, and Gizmodo continue to add insult to injury by bringing up Antennagate time and again.

Here, then, are our favourite iPhone 4 reception spoofs from across that vast interweb:

iHand

Freshly carved from a European tree near you is the iHand, a wooden prosthesis on a metal rod, which is yet to appear in my local Apple Store, funnily enough.

Those rapscallions over in Scoopertino, California, clearly felt the Bumper cases Apple is now giving away don't offer sufficient flexibility, beauty, or freedom, so upped the ante.

The prosthetic iHand fits snugly around your iPhone 4, yet won't interfere with that ever-so-problematic external antenna due to its nonconductive surface.

It isn't available now for $69.

iSuckit

"In 2007 the iPhone reinvented the phone.

In 2009 the iPhone 3GS brought us features such as video recording.

In 2010 the iPhone 4 took a huge leap forward with an antenna design so revolutionary..."

Nothing unusual so far about this faux infomercial. Oh, hang on. "Introducing the iSuckit."

Take one glove, add a suction cup, and apply to iPhone 4.

Bingo: five bars of signal and built-in orientation switch. Job's a good 'un.

Antenn-aid Ahhh, now this one you can actually buy.

Two enterprising designers from Brooklyn are selling packs of six coloured plasters to disgruntled iPhone 4 punters for the unbelievable price of $4.99.

Tailor-made for sealing the horrible antenna-shaped wound in iPhone 4's bottom-left corner, the Antenn-aid is undeniably impressive.

As are its tech specs: "Umm... it's a sticker."

I've ordered 12.

Nokia

Four days after iPhone 4 dropped, Nokia posted a helpful blog, outlining the many and varied ways in which its devices can be held without any signal loss. Commenters were quick to highlight their own many and varied ways to attenuate the E71's antenna.

Last Friday, The Big A's Big Steve bounded up on stage at the hastily-arranged Ant****gate presser and rather subtly mentioned, "you can go on the web and look at pictures of Nokia phones that ship with stickers on the back that say "don't touch here'."

Yesterday, Apple added the Finnish maker's N97 mini to its online list of smartphones adversely affected by a death grip.

Now I'm not suggesting for a second that these three incidents are inextricably linked, but the mind does boggle.

Motorola

After calling out Finland's #1 mobile phone manufacturer last week in front of the chosen few at Apple Town Hall, CEO Steve proceeded to rag on HTC, RIM, and Samsung in a series of damning and illuminating videos.

Noticeably absent from the firing line was US telecoms giant Motorola. Which seems strange, since the maker of the Droid X hardly endeared itself to the Cupertino clan with an ad for its "ultimate smartphone".

Two days after Nokia had poked and prodded at iPhone 4's controversial antenna design via its provocative diary entry, Motorola jabbed away at Apple's paunches in the New York Times by assuring the world that the Droid X can be "held any way you like... And you deserve to be heard."

Not sure the latter claim is true in every case (yes, I'm thinking of you, Michael Winner), but the former was odds-on to rouse a Hello, Moto from Apple's big chief.

We, and they, are still waiting.

[UPDATE: Well, it didn't take long, did it?! The Biggest A has now seen fit to include Motorola's Droid X on its Smartphone Antenna Performance page. Will it be the last entrant into this veritage rogues' gallery? Stay tuned for next week's exciting installment...]

Samsung

Hot on the mocking heels of Nokia and Motorola, Korean behemoth Samsung has taken time out from sponsoring Chelsea Football Club (yay) to ridicule Apple's headline-munching handset.

In classy UK newspaper Metro, the Galaxy S manufacturer has taken a leaf out of rival Motorola's book of salutations to run a full-page ad for its Super AMOLED-packing smartphone.

Substituting the two Ls in 'Hello' with a series of four ascending reception bars, Samsung therefore completes the hat trick of sly, jeering pot shots at iPhone 4's rather exposed goal.

We at Pocket Gamer have decided to open a book on the next mobile maker to step up to the Apple-slating plate. While Sony Ericsson is the clear favourite, LG fits the mould of dark horse perfectly.

Who's your money on??

@ceoSteveJobs

As a warning of lampooning dead ahead, "Of course this is a parody account" ranks pretty high on the PG Obvious-o-meter.

Journo Richard Ashmore, writing for the online edition of the Daily Mail, failed to spot @ceoSteveJobs's hazard lights. Behind the wheel of an exclusive story, he careered headlong into a mocking world's rear end.

His 'scoop', you ask? The iPhone 4 may be recalled on account of its technical problems.

Ahem.

Downfall

Realising that World War II is lost, Adolf Hitler, as portrayed by Bruno Ganz, memorably launches into a furious tirade during a pivotal scene in the epic drama Downfall.

As of yesterday, approximately 4.3 billion versions of this four-minute clip, all tweaked by hilariously replacing and syncing the subtitles to reflect Hitler's current grievance (of which he has many), have been uploaded to YouTube.

I'm sure you're familiar with them.

One to add to the ever-growing Downfall parody canon is this here vid in which Der Führer defends Apple, Steve Jobs, and iPhone 4.

If necessary, the moustachioed despot will "wear a tinfoil hat and hold the phone with his pinky" to improve reception. Viel Glück with that, sir.