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5 smartphone games that are just asking for some PETA rage

Animals should be seen, not catapulted

5 smartphone games that are just asking for some PETA rage
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People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has been in the video game news a fair bit recently.

Firstly, for the serious business of complaining about the depiction of whale abuse in Assassin's Creed 4. Then, for a light-hearted publicity stunt involving standing up for Starcraft 2's put-upon alien antagonists.

But we think there are far bigger fish to fry... I mean, leave living peacefully in their natural habitat.

There are a handful of iOS and Android games out there that hide some frankly shocking cases of animal cruelty behind cute and cuddly graphics and devilishly addictive gameplay. We might petition the Daily Mail to ban this sick filth if, you know, our livelihoods didn't depend on it.

Prepare yourselves. What follows is not for animal lovers or the mildly squeamish among you.

Ridiculous Fishing
By Vlambeer - buy for iPhone and iPad

Ever heard the phrase 'like shooting fish in a barrel'? Well, Ridiculous Fishing's gameplay is even crueller than that.

In Vlambeer's hideously addictive game, you drop your ruthlessly efficient fishing line and hook dozens upon dozens of fish (and eels, and crabs) in the biggest underwater killing frenzy since the last Jaws film.

As if dragging the fish out of their natural habitat wasn't bad enough, you then hoist them into the air and play a particularly unnatural game of clay sturgeon shooting, blasting them into chum with a machine gun.

Disgraceful.

Angry Birds
By Rovio - buy for iPhone, buy for iPad, or download free for Android

To you, sure, it may be the multi-million-selling phenomenon with a sense of Nordic cool and an endless succession of generous level updates.

To us, however, Angry Birds represents a hideous case of avian abuse.

How you can derive pleasure from catapulting innocent birds into brick walls we'll never know.

And as for the ultimate goal of squashing poor little piggies, especially when they're evidently already feeling a little green, well, it's just plain wrong.

Hackycat
By Kenneth Wong - buy for iPhone and iPad

You think that a cat really does always land on its feet?

Not when they've been kicked into the air 50 times consecutively, they don't. They land hard, as the creator of Hackycat portrays in graphic detail.

In this sadistic mog-bothering game, you play keepie uppie with a bunch of ickle kittens like some kind of psychotic Messi.

One of the cats even has an adorable moustache. A moustache!

Momonga Pinball Adventures
By Paladin Studios - buy for iPhone and iPad

The flying squirrel is a wonderfully odd creature that spends its life gliding between trees like some wingsuit-clad daredevil.

Yet some bright spark over at Paladin Studios decided it would be a good idea to ground this high-flying glider, scrunch it up, and throw it into a sadistic game of pinball.

Momonga Pinball Adventures seems like The Running Man with squirrels at times. The poor creature spends the bulk of the game being battered around by bumpers and flippers.

Our own Matt Diener gave this a PG Gold Award, but he'll be laughing on the other side of his face when PETA comes a-calling.

Trigger Fist
By Lake Effect Applications - buy for iPhone and iPad

So, Lake Effect, you think it's funny to pitch a hapless goat into the middle of a war zone, do you? Hmmm?

Okay, so the thought of wearing a goat as a backpack is a somewhat amusing one. We'll grant you that.

But make no mistake: a goat is not there to be fought over like some kind of hairy flag. It's for keeping your grass short, butting trolls, and making delicious curries with.

Jon Mundy
Jon Mundy
Jon is a consummate expert in adventure, action, and sports games. Which is just as well, as in real life he's timid, lazy, and unfit. It's amazing how these things even themselves out.