Rule Britannia: Top 10 best British iPhone games
We are amused
Please excuse us for jumping on the Royal Wedding bandwagon, but when the world's eyes are fixated on your little hunk of floating rock it's hard not to feel a tad patriotic.
The UK has always been a buzzing hive of top developers and creative masters. From Fable creator Peter Molyneux to the Grand Theft Auto deviants at Rockstar, and from the Bitmap Brothers to the Oliver Twins, this little island has made its name as an essential part of the gaming culture.
Even on the iPhone, where some of the smartest, wittiest, strongest, and best apps are forged by British hands. So here are ten of the best British-made apps, just to prove to the world that Britain is more than just an archaic, monarch-ruled nanny state.
Plus, after "Angry Brides" and "Kate the Rope", we couldn't be bothered to think up any more iPhone parodies.
Hector: Badge of Carnage - Straandlooper (Donaghadee, Northern Ireland)
This jet-black point-and-click adventure is as sharp and witty as it is deviously difficult. It's filled to the brim with the usual collection of logic puzzles, item combinations, and conversation trees, but also plenty of jokes about venereal diseases, condoms, prostitutes, and dildos.
In a land of dull, po-faced European adventures, this Brit-made app sticks out like a sore thumb.
The game comes from the hooligans at Straandlooper, the deceptively European-sounding studio from Nothern Ireland. The game was such a stand out hit that adventure saviour Telltale snapped up publishing rights on the series, and will bring Episode 2 to iPhone and iPad later this year.
Rolando 2 - HandCircus (London, England)
Long before ngmoco saw freemium as the future and London-based HandCircus gravitated towards the likes of PC and PS3, this cross-Atlantic duo created the iPhone's first defining adventure: the bold platformer Rolando.
The playful game has you twisting, turning, and shaking your iPhone to get a cast of funky round clan members around tropical beaches, ancient ruins, and volcanic caverns, all in chase of the Golden Orchid.
It might have helped define the early years of iOS development, but it still holds up to this day, and is still one of the smartphone's top games.
X2 Football 10/11 Exient (Oxford, England)
When it comes to portable football, you can forget about FIFA and Pro Evo. The real king of the iOS pitch is X2 Soccer 2011 from Oxford-based Exient.
The giant app features hundreds of club teams, loads of national leagues, and an extensive suite of multiplayer modes for local and online kick-abouts. You can also pop on your manager hat and hire your dream team of best players.
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars Rockstar Leeds (Leeds, England)
This explosive, lawless, and controversial series has always been a British production. You definitely wouldn't get a satire this scathing - which sees New York as a seedy stain on the underpants of the US - from an American studio.
But while the Scottish headquarters of Rockstar proper worked on GTA IV and Red Dead Redemption, the firm's Leeds-based studio toiled away on this excellent handheld rendition of the franchise.
You get the full GTA experience - car chases, cops, shootouts and all - from a birds' eye view, and an epic drug metagame to sink your teeth into. For a few quid, this is the biggest, deepest, and arguably the best game on the whole App Store.
Broken Sword: Director's Cut Revolution Software (York, England)
York-based Revolution Software rarely graces the same sentences as point-and-click pioneers LucasArts and Sierra. A royal shame, since its games are witty, razor-sharp, full of smart puzzles, and every bit as memorable.
Sci-fi original Beneath a Steel Sky could certainly make this list, but the globe-trotting adventures of George Stobbart get the nod. This quick-witted Yank finds himself tumbling through history as he inadvertently uncovers massive conspiracies - centuries in the making.
Tracking down Meso-American gods in Broken Sword 2 is certainly exciting, but nothing beats George's debut yarn: an explosive, exciting journey through Ireland, France, Spain, and Syria on the trail of cult-like neo-Templars. Years before Dan Brown took an interest in them.
Worms 2: Armageddon Team17 (West Yorkshire, England)
This app depicts epic strategic battles as two teams of soldiers fight to the death. Only, in this game, the gun-toting war machines are garden-dwelling earthworms. Us Brits have a warped sense of humour sometimes.
This 15-year franchise has gone through plenty of publishers and developers but the original game, and this feature-filled iOS app, both come from West Yorkshire-based Team17.
The software studio, best known for its Amiga roots, has teased that more ports and remakes might be on the way. Alien Breed on iOS might sound sexy, but don't forget about Superfrog. For an Amiga-kid, this cape-sporting amphibian was like my Mario and Sonic rolled into one.
Speedball 2 Evolution Tower Studios (London, England)
If you prefer your ball sports brutal, this fast-paced, futuristic hybrid of soccer and hockey (sockey, if you will) is like footy turned up to 11. Originally an Amiga favourite, it's now on iPhone and iPad with tons of teams, multiplayer modes, and a full-length career.
It comes from Bitmap Brothers, Vivid Games, and Sensible Software founder Jon Hare. The team has promised more iPhone remakes, including the robotic strategy game Z.
Denki Blocks Denki (Dundee, Scotland)
We've had games from all over England, and apps from Ireland, but here's one from a little farther north: excellent iOS puzzler Denki Blocks from Dundee-based Denki.
The self-titled 'Digital Toy Boutique' used to make games for Game Boy Advance, before the studio hit it big on TV-bundled game services like Sky's Gamestar. It took the firm seven years to come back to the main event, with an iOS port of Denki Blocks.
Good job it finally saw sense: the smart, addictive, and cute logic game is a perfect fit for the iPhone, with hundreds of levels fit for five-minute sessions between tube stops.
Mecho Wars Luc Bernard (England)
Mecho Wars, from British game designer Luc Bernard, is like the iPhone's Advance Wars. The vibrant environment for this turn-based tactical game changes as the game goes on, with lakes freezing over at night and fog covering the battlefield in the early morning.
Alongside a lengthy story campaign, you can also take the fight online with four different modes. It's all presented with Bernard's off-beat pixel-art style, and some juicy background beats.
Papa Sangre Somethin' Else (London, England)
This experimental indie app has no graphics. Instead, you navigate the game world by sound alone, pinpointing nearby enemies and obstacles by stereo noises in your headphones.
It's seriously creepy stuff, creating an eery atmosphere that's ten times as frightening as a horror game with visuals. It's no cheap trick, either, with outstanding production values and a generally high level of quality.
No surprise, seeing as it was picked up and supported by Channel 4's excellent endeavour, 4IP. The game itself comes from premiere London creative studio Somethin' Else, which is busy building websites and managing talent when it's not making award-winning iPhone apps.
