Super Dragon Dash review - All smoke and no fire
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iOS
| Super Dragon Dash

It's been so long ago now that the sudden meteoric rise of Flappy Bird almost feels like a fever dream, something you'd concoct in your absolute worst nightmares.

But there are still games that seek to emulate it – and presumably its success – like the recently released Super Dragon Dash.

Sadly, it's unlikely to reach the same heights as its flappy predecessor, thanks to wonky collision detection and outright broken menus that restrict you from doing just about anything.

Blowing smoke

Super Dragon Dash opens with you building your own dragon, which is done by opening a free egg given to you, then slotting pieces into a framework.

It's actually a cool idea, and it would probably be a lot of fun to play with too, if you were ever going to return to this screen at any point, which you will not.

The rest of your time will be spent playing the game, which involves little more than holding your finger on the screen to dip your dragon down as it continually floats to the top.

There's obstacles that you need to dodge, and you can't hit the top or bottom of the screen, so you'll need to stay focused if you don't want to die too quickly.

But you will, and you'll watch as your dragon disintegrates. Then you'll sit through a loading screen, then instructions on how to play the game, and then you'll die again. Rinse and repeat.

Dragon on

To some people this must be fun, but it's hard to see why – and even if you are someone who enjoys the difficulty, the real challenge is battling the game's broken systems.

For one thing, the collision detection is so off that you'll crash into objects several pixels away from you, sending you right back to the start for something that wasn't even your fault.

You can't enter the pause menu unless you're alive and have been for one second, so if you lose focus on the game while waiting to pause, or die, you'll have to start all over again.

Pausing is the only way to get back to the main menu, but don't worry if you want to get back to playing the game again, as almost every button press will just send you right back into it.

Turn the music off in the settings? Game starts. Try and edit your dragon at all? Game starts. Even opening the credits causes you to re-enter the nightmare world of Super Dragon Dash.

Rawwwwwr

All in all, Super Dragon Dash is such a broken mess of a game that it's hard to recommend it to anyone but the most hardcore of masochists.

It's nigh-on impossible to play, and yet if you so much as breathe near it it'll throw you back into its hellish core.

The strongest praise I can give it is that it is a masterclass in how not to release a game – full of bugs and no fun to play. Dash away from this one.

Super Dragon Dash review - All smoke and no fire

Super Dragon Dash is broken, boring, and not worth even a second of your time
Score
Ric Cowley
Ric Cowley
Ric was somehow the Editor of Pocket Gamer, having started out as an intern in 2015. He hopes to take over the world the same way.