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iPhone  header logo

OMG Pirates!

For: iPhone

The LOL ninjas have the day off

Product: OMG Pirates! | Developer: Mika Mobile | Format: iPhone | Genre: Fighting | Players: 1 | Version: Europe | App version: 1.0.1
 
OMG Pirates! iPhone, thumbnail 1
Despite sounding like a Tori Spelling special on how to look stylish while dressing like a pirate, the button-mashing action of OMG Pirates! is equally more worried about style than substance.

OMG Pirates! is something of a looker, its side-scrolling beat-'em-up action seemingly lifted straight from the screens of your average Nickelodeon cartoon. In terms of pitch, it's entirely on the money, the 2D cel-shaded visuals merging perfectly with its internet meme setting, the idea of ninjas taking on pirates in an 'OMG' battle being one that could have been sapped straight from the school playground.

While something of a trend setter aesthetically, its gameplay is positively archaic in comparison. It's entirely routine and without compromise, boiling down to two pads – one assigned to offense, the other defence – that dominate your time from beginning to end. Switching between the two buttons in order to kill every living being that wanders on screen being the order of the day.

OMG! Attack the best form of...


Switching between blocking your opponents blows and taking them down with your own strikes is essential to moving forward, but it's one-dimensional design.

Experience earned by defeating enemies enables you to level up, unlocking new moves that the game tosses into the pot quite readily. Their application, however, is restricted to that one same attack button.

This means that, while anyone watching over your shoulder will think you're a ninja master, in reality it doesn't change the gameplay at all. Tap-tap-tapping on the red button becomes boring beyond belief within a stage or two, the levels themselves and the pirates that populate them following a similar, slightly stale, path.

Each stage's setting is merely a backdrop. The foe that comes with each new encounter changes in appearance, but essentially follows the same pattern: it follows you, charges you, shoots at you. Boss style battles do manage to ramp everything up a notch or two, though the formula doesn't vary at any meaningful degree.

Ninja non-event


Simply seeing what fairy dust the game's sparkling visuals will sprinkle on the next level might be motivation enough to keep playing, yet, in truth, it's hard to see OMG Pirates! as anything but a short and ultimately disappointing hack and slash. It's a fresh look applied to a mostly tired and uninspired game.

While there's merit in simply surviving – like all side-scrolling action romps, taking on masses of adversaries is far from easy – the need for variety and dynamic action can't be overstated. As things stand, OMG Pirates! feels like one step forward, two steps back, the battle between ninjas and pirates sadly ending in a no-score draw.
 
OMG Pirates!
Reviewer photo
Keith Andrew | 14 December 2009
Looking a whole lot better than it plays, OMG Pirates!'s Cartoon Network-esque visuals can't hide the fact that it's an uninspiring hack and slash game - entertaining for short periods but not worthy of much long-term attention
 
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Anonymous | 03:02 - 21 January 2010
I agree, what doe this guy expect? Games like call of duty modern warfare 2 that would take up the entire space of the iphone and then some, come on ,i mean games are all about taste and it seems to me like he is biased towards certain genres and qualities. For real, this game is good in my opinion and i think he has incredibly high expectaions for an itouch game
Anonymous | 09:51 - 15 December 2009
Terrible review.
Anonymous | 08:49 - 15 December 2009
Have to agree. I think the game has a lot more depth and entertainment than half the competing titles out there. Definitely up there with castle crashers, looks stunning and plays well with plenty of unlocking levels and moves!
Anonymous | 20:53 - 14 December 2009
Spot on.
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