How to negotiate with terrorists - Hector: Badge of Carnage Ep1 walkthrough (chapter 1)

Alright, listen up you lollygaggers and inchworms. Chief Inspector Hector - Clappers Wreake's top detective, negotiator and all-round miscreant - doesn't take kindly to slowcoaches or layabouts.

So if you're stuck on his debut point-and-click adventure - We Negotiate with Terrorists, now out on iPad as well as iPhone - then stop bashing your head against a brick wall and start getting some answers.

This step-by-step walkthrough will hold your ickle hand and lead you through all the puzzles in Straandlooper's lewd and crude gross-out adventure, so grab a pen because I won't be telling you this twice. Ready?

Jail Cell
You wake up in a locked cell, groggy, hangover and missing your trousers. Pick up the empty whisky bottle. Lift up the mattress, and pick up the condom. Pull down the poster, and grab the spoon. Use the spoon to pry off the grate and grab the severed foot from within.

Double-tap the foot to remove the shoelace. Use the shoelace on the condom to make a makeshift net. Dangle the net into the bog to grab the paperclip. Examine the paperclip to straighten it out, and then use the paperclip on the cell door to exit.

Police station
Ask the street youth while he's still here. He'll tell you that he can't go home without a criminal record or he'll be a loser to his criminal pals.

Say, "we give out ASBOs like they're complimentary mints..." and then offer "Indecent exposure" as a potential crime. Tell him you need his trousers.

Right, now we're dressed we can get on with the crime solving. Fill your whisky bottle with coffee, and then exit onto the street.

Street
Exit to the alley to the right of the screen.

Alley
Give the tramp your bottle of coffee to sober him up. Take his mouthwash and the crowbar (on the ladder) and head back to the street.

Street
Throw a few breath-based insults at Fatimah (the fat hooker) and then give her the mouthwash. She'll get picked up by a customer instantly. Head back to the alley.

Alley
Pick up Fatimah's discarded garter. Head back to the street, and into the police station.

Police station
Open the locked key box with your crowbar. Pick up the keys and then uncuff the trouserless youth. He'll end up in your inventory as a usable item. Head outside to the street.

Street
Use the keys to unlock the car door. No luck - the engine's conked and will need repairing. Open the car's bonnet. Use the garter as a fan belt. Walk to the corner (left of the screen).

Corner
Use the sexpest with the crazy old biddy. She'll tazer him, turning him into a fully-charged street urchin. Head back to the main street.

Street
Use the tazered sexpest with the battery to get it back up and running. Hop in the car to head off towards the crime scene.

Click here to go to chapter two of Pocket Gamer's Hector: Badge of Carnage Ep1 walkthrough.