In fact, I'd even go as far as to predict that this year Christmas will be cancelled and replaced by Chuck Norris Fest, in which a buff, gruff man from Texas in a ginger beard and cowboy boots travels the world on Chuck Norris Fest Eve rewarding all the good girls and boys with Bruce Lee videos, and climbing down the chimneys of bad children and roundhouse kicking them in the face while they sleep.
Am I being unrealistic? I don't think so - not after watching the gameplay video of iPhone's Chuck Norris: Bring on the Painbelow. And he'll be bearing a gift, too, as the game is slated for a 59p release price (don't be too surprised if it goes up afterwards, of course. Chuck doesn't know where his next alligator hide belt is coming from).
So remember, kids: You'd better not cry, and you'd better not pout. I'm telling you why. 'Cause Chuck Norris is coming to town, and he'll kick you into a glacier if you've been naughty. Or nice, for that matter.
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