Loads of iOS games claim to be the spiritual successors of classic '90s platformers.
Some pixel-art graphics here, a springy jump mechanic there, a few coins to collect, and suddenly your super-deformed mascot is the reincarnation of Mario himself (if, y'know, Mario was dead).
But then you get the touchscreen gimmicks and the bite-sized levels and the IAP-funded hats.
Bloo Kid 2 claims to be a "classic 2D retro-style platformer", and it wears the look of a crazed zealot when it says so.
Frankly, I'm too scared to disagree.
The obligatory invincibility potion. As fleetingly cathartic as ever
Eiswuxe's game is indeed heavily indebted to the early 2D Mario games. But it's got more in common with those many solid-if-unspectacular games that followed in Mario's wake.
It lacks the invention, the variation, and the sheer magic of many of the games it emulates - but that's not to say it's not good fun.
This is old-school platforming at its simplest and most uninhibited by modern smartphone concessions. It's got long, challenging levels packed full of baddies. It's got hidden rooms that take time, bravery, and skill to uncover.
And, perhaps most importantly, it's got a simple virtual control system that works.
Well, throw an apple at me and call me 'Kirby'
You know the score here. You've got your left and right direction arrows on the left, and your jump key on your right. There's also a down key for dropping through certain platforms.
That's all you need to know. Well, other than the fact there's a very solid and flexible double-jump option available. You can activate the double-jump at any point in mid-air.
It's all very robust and dependable, much like the Mikey Shorts control system only applied to a full-fledged platform-adventure.
Each stage is a surprisingly sprawling affair that often splits into several potential routes - or at least minor diversions - then groups together for the exit point.
Yes, there are swimming bits. But you can still jump on heads here
Bloo Kid 2's one major concession to the iOS generation is a welcome one. There are multiple goals for you to try and accomplish in each world. So, you might have to collect all the stars, kill all the enemies, grab the end-of level balloon, or get to the end within a strict time limit.
You won't be able to nail all of them on a single run, but the game doesn't expect you to. Rather, it encourages you to repeat each stage, playing it in a subtly different way in order to nudge your way to full completion.
As with every '90s platformer ever, there are multiple themed worlds, bosses to fight, and even rock-hard Mario-like castle levels to face here. It's a challenge, alright, but it's one that platformer nuts will relish.
Those who don't dwell in a permanent state of nostalgia for the way gaming used to be will likely see Bloo Kid 2 for the derivative, unimaginative throwback that it undoubtedly is.
But those who recognise that there's something missing from the new iOS platformer generation, i.e. a requirement for concentration and an explorative spirit, will enjoy every minute of it.
Bloo Kid 2
An old-school platformer in the truest sense, Bloo Kid 2 may be thoroughly generic, but it makes commendably few concessions to the attention span-deficient modern iOS gamer
Jon Mundy
Jon is a consummate expert in adventure, action, and sports games. Which is just as well, as in real life he's timid, lazy, and unfit. It's amazing how these things even themselves out.