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For: iPhone   Also on: Android, iPad, Xperia Play

Uzi lover?

Product: 9mm | Developer: Gameloft | Publisher: Gameloft | Format: iPhone | Genre: Shooter | Players: 1 | Networking: wireless (network) | Version: Europe | App version: 1.0
9mm iPhone, thumbnail 1
Gameloft’s latest ‘homage’ is not, as outward appearances would suggest, to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Instead, it’s more like a straight-to-DVD sequel to Max Payne, a third-person shooter with a grizzled anti-hero who prefers the patented diving-in-slow-motion technique to take down bad guys.

Hero John Kannon is the kind of cop who’s prepared to bend the rules to get results – you could call him a ‘loose Kannon’ had Gameloft not already got there with the first mission’s title, during which he descends from a skylight on a group of gangsters, yelling, “it’s raining bacon, motherfuckers.”

Gritty vacant

As amusing as that line undoubtedly is, Gameloft’s game lacks the self-awareness to feel like a true parody. If it is a satire on gangster games and films then it’s an exceptional one, but the clichés are presented with such a straight face that you’re always laughing at it rather than with it.

When you’re not sniggering at Kannon’s gravel-throated posturing in the overly frequent cut-scenes, you spend much of your time gunning down drug dealers and other ne’er-do-wells. You guide Kannon via an onscreen thumbstick, aiming his crosshair with your right hand.

You can also use the internal gyroscope to control the camera, but unless you want the action to look like it’s been directed by a blindfolded Paul Greengrass then it’s best to turn that off immediately.

Duck hunt

There’s no cover system to speak of, though Kannon is able to crouch behind scenery to regenerate health. That said, most missions put you in an open room with enemies attacking from all sides, so your best bet is to make judicious use of Kannon’s time-manipulation abilities.

Swipe the stopwatch icon on the right of the screen and Kannon will dive slowly in the direction you chose, continuing to train his sights on his aggressors. This gives you a little more time to line-up the headshots that take those tattooed perps down quicker.

Naturally, its use is limited, so you’ll need to wait until it’s refilled before trying again - assuming you get the opportunity, that is. 9mm’s bizarre difficulty curve has a few sharp spikes, with enemies unerringly accurate at times, and completely unable to hit you at others.

Bauer beware

Between shootouts you’ll get the opportunity to indulge in some forceful interrogations, which generally require you to tap onscreen icons to thump some sense into witnesses or to jab highlighted words which force your victim to confess all.

As well as the substantial single-player campaign there’s a competitive multiplayer mode that supports up to 12 players. Yet as technically impressive as this achievement is, unfortunately it doesn’t compensate for the mechanical shortcomings.

There’s something laudable about Gameloft’s attempt to create a console-style experience on a smartphone, but sadly 9mm only serves to highlight the limitations of the format. With so many quality iOS titles of late, that hefty 720MB of space should be saved for better games.

Reviewer photo
Chris Schilling | 19 July 2011
A technically ambitious but unintentionally hilarious shooter that's far too flawed to recommend
Rate this game >> Average reader score: 
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Show: Latest | Oldest
Mar 2013
Post count:
Slaviša Babi? | 10:40 - 9 March 2013
if you dont like the gyroscope controls CHANGE THEM YOU IDIOT!, its common sense to look at ALL the menus before thinking or saying something negative. like many of the commenters besides me said, you are not qualified to review, pathetic. think in 3rd person view, rather than 1st.
Apr 2010
Post count:
jeffyg3 | 20:19 - 12 April 2012
Glad to see a reviewer not blinded by the past Gameloft hype machine. This game is utter trash...gameplay is a total borefest and mediocre, AI is atrocious, and voice acting and the lines the characters say is laughable. The game is a wreck, 5 is a fair score for this game. I'd personally give it a 4/10
Oct 2011
Post count:
99gamer | 22:25 - 9 October 2011
9mm is on of the best iphone games ever it deserves a 9.
Chriss is just a idiot
Mar 2011
Post count:
Espekayen2 | 17:38 - 22 July 2011
Guys, if you don't like PG reviews then simply stop visiting the website. I also disagree with many of their reviews but I don't take reviews very seriously, anyway. They are just the opinion of ONE person.
May 2011
Post count:
LeTrawl | 09:48 - 21 July 2011
Why did this dimwited, doodlegame-loving stooge get to review a game he doesn't understand? He didn't even get the "joke" if he thinks 9mm is all ernest about its story.

He obviously didn't play the game much either.

"As well as the substantial single-player campaign there
Jul 2011
Post count:
Gamer6000 | 13:15 - 20 July 2011
ok, it was deleted in the middle of the link
NOVA 2 has __GOLD__ on Pocketgamer and Shadow Guardian has __BRONZE__!!!

Both games are GREAT!
And 9mm is also a great game! It deserves at least 8!!!
It looks like Mr. Schilling intentionally lowered down the score to provoke more comments to his review!
Jul 2011
Post count:
Gamer6000 | 12:06 - 20 July 2011
it's LOL man

NOVA 2 has __GOLD__ on Pocketgamer:
http://www.pocketgamer.co.uk/r/iPhone/NOVA 2/review.asp?c=26036
Mar 2011
Post count:
TheCrunkedOutScholar | 17:59 - 19 July 2011
I'm going to defend pocketgamer here. I stopped buying Gameloft games about a year ago, I've completely given up on them, even those 59p sales cannot tempt. Here's why :-

1. The last few games I bought from Gameloft like Splinter Cell and Shadow Guardian were quite simply boring. Every stage plays identically, same villains are recycled time after time.

2. You barely need a brain to play the games I've mentioned, every single stage has huge frickin signs telling you what to do.

3. It's almost impossible to die, I mean Shadow Guardian was a joke, it has all these sections where you have to jump and climb etc but it's almost impossible to fall, rendering these sections pointless.

4. Nova 2 was okay for 5 minutes until I realised that it basically boiled down to shooting identical enemies and walking in pretty much a straight line for hours on end. Compare that to Doom classic on the iPhone, where you actually can get stuck, lost or end up dead.

It's just that these games feel like really boring interactive story books rather than fully fledged games. So yeah I get what pocketgamer are trying to say.
Jul 2011
Post count:
gigabait | 15:45 - 19 July 2011
How come you are the only person in the world that actually dosent like the game? How are the gyro controls a problem with the game and not the device itself?! It feels like you are only tring to stick out from the crowd by giving the only bad review this game has ever got. This exposes you as a bully and atention whore. Your credibility is the one that deserves the 5 point you gave this game. The game has flows, just like any other game , but by god it super fun to play!