5 games that fit in perfectly with iOS 7's new flat style
A very serious piece of journalism
Hey, YOU! Yeah, I'm talking to you.
Have you downloaded and installed iOS 7 yet? I bet you have - you look the type.
I bet you love how 'flat' it is, and I bet you love all those nice shiny colours, and I bet you love the fact there's not a bit of digital felt in sight.
But now all your games look lumpy and unpleasant, don't they? They don't have any place among the sleek lines and precise edges of your new mobile operating system. I bet it turns your stomach just looking at them. I bet.
Well, fear not, you weirdo. That's because I've gathered together a list of iPhone and iPad games that fit perfectly with Apple's stark new aesthetic. So, even when you're playing, you can be an individual and express your love of flatness.
You're welcome.
PivvotGuide a twisting ball down a line, dodging sharp-edged obstacles. Sure, the line might be bumpy, but it's a flat kind of bumpy, and the big blocks of colour mesh perfectly with Apple's new style.
The fact that this game is ace is the flat icing on the flat cake.
LetterpressYou press on letters. But the letters are flat. A couple of them have got curly bits, but don't let that put you off.
This multiplayer word game still proves a brilliant way for you to demonstrate you know how to spell, and that you don't really care for things that jut up and out at unpleasant angles.
PUKIn Puk, Laser Dog only uses two colours. And yet the game still looks lovely.
It's sort of like Angry Birds, but it's been simplified and bashed with a rolling pin until there's not even a hint of the Z-axis. It's fun and frantic. And if Jony Ive spots you playing it, he'll probably nod approvingly at you.
Ring FlingNot only is Ring Fling stylishly un-lumped, but it's also about bringing people together. Which is what iPhones and iPads are supposed to do, right?
Imagine Hungry Hungry Hippos but backwards and as flat as the touchscreen on your iOS device. More Ive nods, one suspects.
HundredsA game about circles.
There are circles everywhere in iOS 7. Part of me suspects the next iPad might be a circle.
Hundreds is so flat that if you hold it up side-on, you can't see anything. That's flat. "Flat and Circles" should be the subtitle for iOS 7.
What am I supposed to be writing about again?