Game Reviews

Vertical Golf

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iOS
| Vertical Golf
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Vertical Golf
|
iOS
| Vertical Golf

The trouble with golf is that it's so damned HORIZONTAL... said no one, ever.

I'm no golf expert, but it seems as if the game's varying terrain, set across different heights, represents much of its appeal.

Still, here's Vertical Golf, taking things to extremes, as games tend to do.

Lofty ambitions

Vertical Golf is like a combination of Desert Golfing and Super Stickman Golf 2 - but it's nowhere near as good as either.

The idea is to get a golf ball into the hole in as few hits as possible, utilising a time-honoured drag and release control system. The key twist here is that the hole is invariably some way above the tee-off point.

This means that you have to delicately place your set-up shots on platforms, small outcrops, and other precariously poised higher ground locations. Alternatively, you can whack the ball into one of the green sticky plants that grow out of the side of each level's terrain.

Really, you've seen this kind of vertical level design before in numerous wacky golf games, not least of which being the aforementioned Super Stickman Golf series.

Blurred lines

The art style is obviously indebted to the refreshingly back-to-basics approach of Desert Golfing, except it hasn't been handled with anywhere near as much assurance here. That sounds odd given the inherently limited palette on display, but it's true.

One example of this is those aforementioned sticky green plants, which have been rendered in such a way that makes them look like they're constantly vibrating. Then there's the flapping flag which suggests a wind system that doesn't exist.

Meanwhile, the levels themselves appear to run seamlessly into each other, seemingly looping back on themselves with new level elements. That sounds clever, but it actually serves to make the game feel enormously repetitive and formless.

Add in control and physics systems that never quite seems to feel natural or instinctive enough for you to aim for precise placement, and your interest in this particularly sparse golf game will probably drop off a cliff like one of your many miscalculated approach shots.

Vertical Golf

A sparse, clunky golf game with a twist that fails to add anything meaningfully new to the genre
Score
Jon Mundy
Jon Mundy
Jon is a consummate expert in adventure, action, and sports games. Which is just as well, as in real life he's timid, lazy, and unfit. It's amazing how these things even themselves out.