Game Reviews

Turd Birds

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Turd Birds
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| Turd Birds

For those who bleat on about games being art, Turd Birds is unlikely to be used as an example.

I mean, it's called Turd Birds for a start. It's practically got 'lowest common denominator' scrawled all over it in avian excrement.

Sure enough, Turd Birds proves to be as stupid as its name suggests. But, like toilet humour itself, there's a certain amount of childish glee to be drawn from it.

Origin of faeces

Turd Birds is a 3D endless-runner undoubtedly influenced by Temple Run and some of its more colourful disciples like Subway Surfers.

There are a couple of differences. Instead of running, your cruelly coerced birdy flaps along about ten feet above the ground. Swiping left and right switches you between several invisible lanes, enabling you to avoid obstacles and collect power-ups.

Another major mechanic is hinted at in that title. Tapping the screen causes your bird to poop. Do so when flying over a person and you get bonus points.

In practice this pooping system feels a little vague, with an excessive margin of error taking much of the fun out of hitting your target. It also clashes a little with the aforementioned movement system - particularly when it comes to moving and excreting in quick succession.

Down in the dumps

Turd Birds is a highly simplistic game, then. What variety and sustained interest it has comes from its changes in scenery and its many goals and missions.

These can take the form of befouling a certain number of old ladies, for example, or collecting a number of floating burgers.

Best of all is the one where you have to dump on the profile picture of one of your friends - which you can of course grab about on Facebook, as long as you don't mind people knowing that you're playing a game all about defecating on people. It's a shame this isn't more of a challenge - it's practically impossible to miss.

But then, Turd Birds is a game built on cheap surface thrills rather than engaging gameplay. Playing through it feels entirely perfunctory, but there are just about enough colourful splodges along the route to keep you pushing on.

We can't guarantee that you'll be entirely satisfied once your business has been completed, however.

Turd Birds

As puerile as its title suggest, Turd Birds gets by on its bright and breezy appeal and a severe case of mission diarrhoea
Score
Jon Mundy
Jon Mundy
Jon is a consummate expert in adventure, action, and sports games. Which is just as well, as in real life he's timid, lazy, and unfit. It's amazing how these things even themselves out.