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iPad  header logo

Turd Birds

For: iPad   Also on: Android, iPhone

Turd time's the charm

Product: Turd Birds | Developer: Cat Daddy Games | Publisher: 2K Play | Format: iPad | Genre: Endless running | Players: 1 | Version: Europe
Turd Birds iPad, thumbnail 1
For those who bleat on about games being art, Turd Birds is unlikely to be used as an example.

I mean, it's called Turd Birds for a start. It's practically got 'lowest common denominator' scrawled all over it in avian excrement.

Sure enough, Turd Birds proves to be as stupid as its name suggests. But, like toilet humour itself, there's a certain amount of childish glee to be drawn from it.

Origin of faeces

Turd Birds is a 3D endless-runner undoubtedly influenced by Temple Run and some of its more colourful disciples like Subway Surfers.

There are a couple of differences. Instead of running, your cruelly coerced birdy flaps along about ten feet above the ground. Swiping left and right switches you between several invisible lanes, enabling you to avoid obstacles and collect power-ups.

Another major mechanic is hinted at in that title. Tapping the screen causes your bird to poop. Do so when flying over a person and you get bonus points.

In practice this pooping system feels a little vague, with an excessive margin of error taking much of the fun out of hitting your target. It also clashes a little with the aforementioned movement system - particularly when it comes to moving and excreting in quick succession.

Down in the dumps

Turd Birds is a highly simplistic game, then. What variety and sustained interest it has comes from its changes in scenery and its many goals and missions.

IAPs explained
Turd Birds is a free endless-runner, so it should come as no surprise to learn that it survives on in-app purchases.

They're surprisingly light and easy to digest, though. You can purchase all of the core bird upgrades with coins earned in-game, while unlocking extra birds is a case of collecting enough feathers of a certain colour.

You can buy extra coins at 69p / 99c for 20,000, which is fairly generous. The most expensive currency is gems, which are essential for continuing when you die (and thus giving you the best chance of beating those high scores).

Here's where it gets pricey, mind, with just two gems costing £1.49 / $1.99.
These can take the form of befouling a certain number of old ladies, for example, or collecting a number of floating burgers.

Best of all is the one where you have to dump on the profile picture of one of your friends - which you can of course grab about on Facebook, as long as you don't mind people knowing that you're playing a game all about defecating on people. It's a shame this isn't more of a challenge - it's practically impossible to miss.

But then, Turd Birds is a game built on cheap surface thrills rather than engaging gameplay. Playing through it feels entirely perfunctory, but there are just about enough colourful splodges along the route to keep you pushing on.

We can't guarantee that you'll be entirely satisfied once your business has been completed, however.
Turd Birds
Reviewer photo
Jon Mundy | 17 July 2013
As puerile as its title suggest, Turd Birds gets by on its bright and breezy appeal and a severe case of mission diarrhoea
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