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Could Red Dead Redemption 2 be a mobile exclusive?

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Could Red Dead Redemption 2 be a mobile exclusive?
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Everyone on the internet seems to be writing about Red Dead Redemption 2, despite the fact that there's absolutely no solid information out there beyond a cryptic teaser from Rockstar (it's the company's logo over a red background).

So we figured, why not join them? We can write about stuff that we don't know anything about as well as the next website. We've probably got as much chance of being right, too.

In that spirit, here are some reasons why Red Dead Redemption 2 will definitely for sure probably possibly not no way be a mobile exclusive.

The teaser image says it all

That teaser image we mentioned above? It's red. You know what else is red? Verizon's and Vodafone's logos. Those are two of the biggest mobile networks in the world. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT.

There's a clue right there in the original

One of the most useful consumables in the original Red Dead Redemption is the apple, which instantly and completely refills your horse's stamina. What's with the veneration of this humble fruit, Rockstar? Is it because you're tipping us off to the lead platform for the Red Dead Redemption sequel? WE THINK SO.

The fourth Google Pixel colour

Don't worry Android fans, you'll be getting a version of Red Dead Redemption 2 soon after the Apple crowd, complete with VR enhancements. The clues were all there, as plain as day, in the Google Pixel launch event.

Ever wonder why Google's new smartphone has those weirdly stupid colour names? It's all an elaborate set-up for a special edition handset coming some time next year to celebrate the Android release of Red Dead Redemption 2.

Quite Black, Very Silver, and Really Blue will be joined by Bloody Red. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Westworld for (virtual) real(ity)

Those VR enhancements for Google's Daydream View headset we mentioned above? They'll include a special stand-alone shooting gallery-type game that will see you taking pot shots at pilgrims and endangered birds from atop your trusty steed - but, like, as if you're right there committing atrocities for real. It'll be called Red Eye Contraption. BECAUSE VR, IDIOT.

Rockstar are contrary blighters

The staff at Rockstar don't always play by the rules. They're rude about the establishment and celebrities in their controversial GTA games, and they make bizarre project choices seemingly for the hell of it (Bully and Rockstar Table Tennis, anyone?).

What could possibly show that they don't give a flying expletive more than making one of their most anticipated console sequels a mobile exclusive, thus dragging thousands of console fanboys to their mucky keyboards? You might say plenty of things. YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

Jon Mundy
Jon Mundy
Jon is a consummate expert in adventure, action, and sports games. Which is just as well, as in real life he's timid, lazy, and unfit. It's amazing how these things even themselves out.