Side-scrolling shooter Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project will blast onto iPhone and iPad next week

Officially speaking, 2013 was The Year of Luigi. To be honest, most of us were happy with that. I mean, Luigi is nice and has a moustache.

It might be 2014 now, sure, but if you think about Luigi's nice moustache and charming Italian quips, it might make the prospect of a port of Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project hitting the App Store next week slightly more bearable.

This particular Duke Nukem game, which originally came out on PC in 2002, is a side-scrolling shooter in which you guide the beef-brained misogynist through a 2.5D world, shooting pigs and saying things.

Not nice things like Luigi used to say, though.

There are lots of buttons in Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project, all of which are arranged around the bottom of the screen.

You can use a controller to move not-Luigi around if you'd prefer. In all of Luigi's games, you can use a controller, so that's sort of the same.

Some might say there are too many buttons in Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project, and that sometimes they don't work when you press them.

Then, you might do a swear. Swears make Luigi sad.

Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project for iOS is out next week. Next week isn't The Year of Luigi, by the way. I miss Luigi. We went to a haunted house together and he made me laugh. Now, I just cry all the time and drink gin.