The Buzz: Two Angry Men

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FEATURE

This week, The Bee gives us the low-down on video game critic Jack Thompson (and Ben Croshaw)

Product: The Buzz

by The Bee

The Bee wants to keep one finger on the heart-beat of video games so of course I am watching RSS feeds and reading them all day. Maybe I should be doing real work but I read RSS feeds all day!

This is not mathematic but the names that show most often are as following:

1. Mario

2. Jack Thompson

3. Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw

May I introduce Mario? He is a fat waste-pipe mechanic from Italy who saves aristocrat ladies so he can be kissed by them. I would also like this life!

You might not know Jack Thompson. He is a Christian censorship lawyer in the USA. Every day Mr Thompson's name is in there saying "video games should be crime!"

Sometimes when you make one mistake in Metal Gear Solid 3 and die and when your friend scores a hole-in-one-swing at Wii Golf, you might think, "I hate video games so much!" But please trust The Bee when he tells: Jack Thompson hates video games much more than you. He hates Islam and gay also, but video games even more.

It consumes him.

Jack Thompson called video games as "murder simulators" and also "killing simulators". He has said video games are "dangerous physical appliances that teach a kid how to kill efficiently and to love it."

(Mr Thompson, The Bee cannot ask a noisy boy in the cinema to be quiet, never mind to kill efficiently!)

Being as a lawyer, Mr Thompson is always making a nuisance in court, so much that the Florida Supreme Court threatened to disbar him. It has described him with seven words: "Rambling, argumentative, contemptuous, bizarre, idiotic, repetitive, frivolous."

I have looked them all up – ouch!

Mr Thompson is not disbarred, but now to file a suit a second lawyer must accompany him ... as if they are his mother!

Yesterday he is back in the blog o' sphere. The reason is his letter written at the mother of GTA IV company Take-Two boss. It mentions Ted Bundy, Adolf Hitler, many passages of the Bible, and many victims of murder. He finishes "your son unleashes porn and violence upon other mothers' boys. I'm sure you're very proud."

It is like the writing behind the bed of a psychopath. Mr Thompson is one angry Florida lawyer!

But enough with him. You want to know, who is Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw?

He is the latest superstar phenomenon video games critic. He makes one video every week for The Escapist and it is called Zero Punctuation. Maybe it should be called 'angry fast review' because he speaks so fast!

Of course The Bee cannot understand him talking, but friends with English say Mr "Yahtzee" Croshaw is very hilarious. He plays one game every week and insults! Even The Bee can hear he is upset. He says swearing words and sounds that he has rabies.

So for the first time (maybe also last) The Bee brings a joke, from it I have omitted the swearing:

Q: What is different between Jack Thompson and Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw?

A: Ben "Yahtzee" is not a [sausage] head – he is great!

You are welcome for the laughing. See you next week!

The Bee is an industry insider who has fed on the nectar of over three decades' worth of gaming. All opinions expressed are the author's own.