BattleNoidz

As a child, I found those giant model dinosaurs that fill museums across the world simultaneously frightening and fascinating.

My young mind was unable to identify the lack of movement and the peeling paint as evidence that the dinosaur wasn't able to eat me, or do any of the other amazing things that dinosaurs could do in their day.

BattleNoidz is the ageing model T-Rex of the iOS gaming world. While the initial impression given by the presentation is an awe-inspiring one, stiff movement and cracks in the gameplay belie a title that belongs more in a museum than in your hands.

The ideas behind the game are sound: you control a tiny robot tasked with ferrying items safely back to your ship without being blasted to bits by evil robots.

You trundle along the streets of a crumbling cityscape, collecting up to four items at a time. Once fully laden you trundle back to the waiting ship and fly to a base to offload your cargo safely.

Being on the ground effectively makes your ship vulnerable to attack - rocket batteries and other robots can easily target your stationary ship - so knowing when and where to park your ride is critical in order to minimise damage and maximise your cargo haul.

The problem is that you're never able to do this because poor controls prevent you from adequately maintaining a hold on your ship and your little helper robot.

It should be fairly simple - twin virtual analogue sticks while on foot, and a single stick and invisible 'fire' button when in the air - but the controls don't function properly.

Take the on foot controls, for instance. If your robot hasn’t suddenly decided to seize up completely (something that happens far too frequently to be ignored), he’s getting caught in the scenery, most likely while being shot to pieces.

Piloting your ship is even worse. The craft refuses to fire unless moving, which naturally makes hitting stationary targets a nightmare.

There's also an inexplicable lack of a ‘drop-off’ button to deposit your robot on the ground. Instead, it automatically activates whenever you dip down to the ground, instantly leaving your ship completely vulnerable. Of course, your robot most likely won't respond to your desperate attempts to get him back inside until he’s had a little nap.

Even if, by some miracle, the controls don’t send you into an apocalyptic rage, the bugs will. For example, the ship at random refuses to carry more than three items.

There’s potential in BattleNoidz: the setting and graphics are well drawn, and the idea of balancing vulnerability in the air against the desire to pick up as much loot as possible is one that should make a good game of risk and reward.

Yet, while it may cast an imposing shadow with some reasonably nice graphics, BattleNoidz is little more than a stiff, poorly made model of a real action game.