Vroom in the Night Sky review - Worth a punt on Nintendo Switch?

The Nintendo Switch might be lacking in games right now, but I'd encourage even the most desperate early adopters to avoid Vroom in the Night Sky. Go outside or read a book instead.

It's truly awful, with no redeeming features whatsoever. It's a game in the loosest sense of the word, and the £8.99 price tag is downright insulting.

Doom in the Night Sky

Vroom in the Night Sky casts you as a witch on a flying motorbike who, along with her fairy friend, has to zoom around a variety of night time environments catching stars to open a portal. Fly through it and you complete a level.

And that is literally all there is to it. There's no challenge, no obstacles, no enemies to defeat, and while you're timed it doesn't really mean anything. You just get a few more shards, which you spend on upgraded vehicles.

Again, this is completely meaningless. They have different stats - more speed, better handling - but in practice you won't notice the difference at all. Perhaps if you unlock the most powerful bike you will, but there's no way I'm putting in the grind to see this through to the bitter end.

Google translate

Because that's all there is to this - grind repetitive levels doing the same thing over and over again to unlock more bikes to do it again slightly faster.

Meanwhile, text pop ups that have clearly been translated in Google Translate get thrown at you, and they're completely nonsensical.

"My eyes are itchy," the witch says. "Don't close your eyes!" exclaims the fairy.

It's not funny the first time, and it's infuriating after you've read it 50 times.

You have a purple witch nemesis who pops up after a certain amount of time has passed in a level but I have absolutely no idea what she does.

She's surprisingly effective though. Read a few lines of her dialogue and you'll be reaching for the Switch's sleep mode.

Poor Nintendo Switch

Vroom in the Night Sky is just completely awful. I wouldn't even play this game for free on my mobile, yet this is a launch title on the Nintendo Switch. And costs £8.99.

Sure, the character models are quite nice to look at, and the flying bikes handle well enough. A tiny bit of effort has gone into using HD rumble.

But there's little to do besides grind to unlock faster bikes. The "banter" between your characters is absolute nonsense. And oh God why can't this just be buried in the eShop and never be spoken of again.