Zen Bound to be followed up by iPhone’s Stair Dismount Touch

The game design brain tank known as Secret Exit has dropped us a line to let us know how it doesn’t intend to follow up its Platinum Award winning iPhone extravaganza, Zen Bound.

According to an unofficial press release in which Secret Exit denies all intentions to release the wholly irresponsible (yet infinitely hilarious) Stair Dismount Touch for the iPhone, we learn about a bizarre game involving pushing people down the stairs.

“Dismounting is morally reprehensible,” says Jani Kahrama, mis-manager of Secret Exit. “It would be irresponsible of us (before securing plausible deniability) to announce an entertainment product in which abstract visuals together with realistic physics-simulated behaviour and disturbingly accurate sound effects enable people of moral stability to amuse themselves with explorations into the effects of directed force.”

Okay, so, the game doesn’t involve taking pictures of friends, family, enemies and all in between, overlaying their mugs on rag doll physics-imbued 3D characters then hoofin' ‘em down a flight stairs.

If we’d heard this rumour coming from anyone but Secret Exit, which we now worship as some kind of non-Buddhist zen god entity, this probably wouldn’t light our joss sticks, but it is. So it does.