Sexy Poker 2004

Sometimes we at Pocket Gamer wonder if we're missing something. This reviewer has never once had a girlfriend who's up for being photographed naked, for instance. Nor slipped into a svelte nightclub to be invited to play cards with clothing on the line against a bevy of beautiful women.

So who are the people who boast of – and sometimes display – such escapades on the internet?

Maybe they're the same people who are behind Sexy Poker 2004, a strip poker game (we question the validity of calling it a simulation, at least in our case) that pits you against a succession of flirtatious hostesses.

As is the way with such things, the storyline is largely irrelevant – some poppycock about you being an up-and-coming movie director after talent for his (or her, we're open minded) film. To secure the services, so to speak, of various actresses, musicians and producers for the project, you have to beat them at strip poker.

You break out the playing cards and take on six women, one after the other, each of whom offers a stiffer (sorry) challenge than the one before. You can actually play them at three different games, though only strip poker is available to begin with.

The rules are standard five-card poker fare, aside from the disrobing. You and your opponent (it's one-on-one all the way here) are dealt five cards each, after which you can choose to stick, fold, raise or call. While you both begin the game with a pot of cash (rather less in your opponent's case) you're able to sell items of clothing for more.

So the further you play and the more money is won and lost, one person ends up considerably richer (in a virtual sense, anyway) and one ends up considerably chillier.

It's at this point that we'll reveal that things go as far as a mainstream mobile games publisher will go with the nudity; while you can undress your opponent down to her skivvies and beyond, TV-style blurry censorship means you don't end up seeing anything that you'd not find in your average copy of The Sun.

But to make up for it – and at the risk of sounding a bit, well, you know – the women you play against are certainly easy on the eye. Opting for a hand-drawn approach rather than grainy photos, Sexy Poker 2004 looks magnificent, and not just because of the subject matter. The colours, detail and naked women look as good as they ever could on a mobile handset.

All in all, then, Sexy Poker 2004 is a pleasant affair. The difficulty level is nicely graded, enabling you to learn the rules and improve your skills as you go, even if you've never played before. And we probably don't need to say this, but there's plenty of motivation to keep playing.

Even without the draw of the obvious, it is, quite honestly, an entertaining poker game. Each opponent has noticeable variations in technique and approach that you'll need to learn and adapt to, and while it's not going to stretch a professional-level player, that's not why you're going to consider Sexy Poker 2004 over any of the more serious poker games out there.

Later on in the game, you unlock blackjack and video poker game modes, though neither is as fun or fair to you, the human player, as the standard poker action. Additionally, once you've beaten a girl, her pictures become available in the gallery, enabling you to enjoy them when other matters are, ahem, at hand.

While the PC crowd is likely to call foul and it's not a game you'd ever want your wife / girlfriend / mum (delete as appropriate) to find on your phone, if you are after a taste of a lifestyle that, we suspect, far fewer people than we're led to believe enjoy, Sexy Poker 2004 is as good as it gets.