Sex on the Rocks

In a dangerous bout of linguistic mixing, your first assumption on seeing a title like Sex on the Rocks is that it's either got something to with sex and alcoholic cocktails, which sort of makes sense, or sex and a rockery, which is a rather more alarming proposition. Of course, neither is remotely true and Sex on the Rocks is just another bog-standard adult title without any such kinky leanings.

Sex on the Rocks, then, offers you an arcade-like game, progress through which unlocks some saucy pictures. Everything is bared in some of these, but they have an oddly arty style to them that steers the tone away from the truly offensive.

The game you play to unlock these is not unlike Pac-Man, although it uses an isometric perspective. So you play as a suitably Pac-Man-like yellow head, bouncing around a maze of tiles. In each level, you have to smash all the tiles, done by simply bouncing over them.

There's also a number of enemies moving about the place. Some just move straight down the maze and over the edge into oblivion, but others follow you around, intent on squishing you into so much yellow goo. There are also enemies that replenish the tiles as they touch them. There's no way to destroy these enemies as such; you can only avoid them. However, to help you there are also safe squares in each level and teleport pads around the edge of the maze for especially quick getaways.

The pacing is fairly slow and you'll do a lot better if you're willing to bide your time a little, waiting on the safe squares for a good moment to move, rather than dashing about trying to complete the level as quickly as possible.

This becomes even more apparent as the game develops and the tiles are more difficult to smash, requiring multiple hits. This is perhaps straying a little from the usual smash-and-grab quick reward style we're used to in adult titles, but it has its own sort of hypnotic charm.

You unlock one of the adult images every three levels and you can see your progress in unlocking the picture as it makes up the in-game background and is revealed in real-time, naughty-bit-by-naughty-bit, with each tile smashed. Once the picture has been fully revealed, you can view it from the main menu's gallery option. Unfortunately, the pics don't take up the whole screen, rather filling up only about two-thirds of it.

Sex on the Rocks is perilously similar to its sister title, Sex on the Floor. And if you're positively gagging for a game promising sex on a specified surface, we'd recommend Sex on the Floor over this game.

There's very little between them in gameplay terms, but the colourful lit-up squares of the latter are simply a lot easier on the eye than the broken ceramics of Sex on the Rocks. It's a small point to make, but it does affect your enjoyment of the game. It's like comparing disco dancing across a lit-up dance floor with breaking rocks at a prison camp. Ridiculous, but true.