From the Pocket Gamer workhorse's mouth: Richard Brown

It's Christmas. That means the staff of Pocket Gamer is drunk, if not on alcohol then on the giddying sensation that comes from receiving numerous expensive presents.

All this frivolity means we're not writing stories today. To enable you to connect with us in a different way - one that doesn't involve the transmission of news, reviews, and features concerning the world of portable gaming - we've decided to go on about ourselves a bit.

When not reviewing iPhone games and writing stories for PocketGamer.biz, Steel Media's resident sports nut Rich Brown eats, sleeps, and breathes football. Rich is spending this Christmas at St Bartholemew's Hospital in Rochester, where he's being treated for malnutrition, insomnia, and asphyxiation.

Favourite portable gaming platform?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I'm plumping for iOS.

While the DS and PSP platforms continue to flag disconsolately, churning out bona fide hits of late on a less regular basis than The Rolling Stones, iOS gaming goes from strength to strength.

In recent weeks, by way of example, high-profile titles from ChAIR (Infinity Blade) and id Software (Rage HD) have pushed back the technical boundaries on iPhone and iPad, with the eye-watering brilliance of Real Racing 2 arguably overtaking them both.

Favourite portable game of the year...

Scrabble for iPad was undeniably a contender, taking cross-iOS multiplayer to the next level with that innovative tile rack accoutrement and mesmerising rotating game board.

But, for sheer adrenaline-pumping, swipe-perfecting, ghost run-trouncing platform action, Mirror's Edge on iPad delivered the goods. First class.

Never altogether convinced by the level design and combat initiation in the home console version, I was delighted to discover EA had reworked Faith's freerunning antics for Apple's touchscreen devices, not least in eschewing the first-person perspective in favour of a third-person side-scroller.

Hypnotic beats from Mr Scruff? Check. Charming art style courtesy of Mikko Walamies? Present. Intuitive implementation of tilt and tap controls? Correct.

If you rewind to Christmas 2008, the five-month-old iPhone gaming scene was still crying out for a poster child, a mascot, a Sonic or Mario to call its own and, in many respects, to validate its undoubted potential.

Well, up, left, right, and down rolled HandCircus and the impossibly alluring inhabitants of Rolandoland to fill the void. One of only five iPhone title to be awarded the coveted PG Platinum trinket, Rolando triumphantly marries physics-based puzzles with multi-touch micromanagement to such dazzling effect both my nephew and uncle remained transfixed for hours.

I like Tiger Woods. There, I said it. Before Pocket Gamer's Women's Liberation Front sharpen their pencils too furiously, I am, of course, referring to EA's long-running golf sim series and NOT the world's biggest - ahem - Cheetah.

With the introduction of Ryder Cup tournament play, PlayStation Move integration, and the stonkingly accurate True-Aim mechanic, Tiger Woods 11 on PS3 makes me go all weak at the knees.

Hmmm, wonder if he has that effect on others...?

...and of all time?

I have another confession. And in footballing circles, it's a truly unforgivable crime. Yes, I've changed allegiances. Like switching from Everton to Liverpool, City to United, or Ebbsfleet to Dartford, my substitution of Pro Evo for FIFA a couple of years ago wasn't without ramification and recrimination.

Back in 2004, though, Konami's soccer franchise was a joy to behold: top of the table, 23 points clear, a seemingly unassailable lead over the competition. PES 2004 consumed my life in ways that would make Panorama twitch nervously, but how could I resist?

Fluid one-touch interplay, intelligently executed offside traps, and the memorably named Crisisbless - a.k.a. Crystal Palace FC - formed a Winning Eleven worthy of a World Cup Final. Get in!!

I'm adopting the classic 'wait and see' (somebody else's) approach to Nintendo's forthcoming portable console and not, as you might suspect, because I'm one of those increasingly trendy 3D sceptics.

As you'll discover in precisely six paragraphs' time, I am in fact a firm believer in that thing we call depth, yet I can't help wondering whether many of the benefits of that third dimension won't best be realised on a 3.5-inch screen. Oh, and I fear it will induce vomiting. I'm a sensitive lad, after all.

Two things I am impressed by, mind, are the 3DS's incredible slate of launch titles and the intriguing-looking StreetPass tag mode.

I have but three gifts on my Santa wish list this Chrimbo...

The first is a copy of Gran Turismo 5, which if history proves a good indicator will be delayed in the Xmas post until sometime in 2015.

I've already allocated a spot in the downstairs study to my second dream present...a brand spanking 21-inch iMac. Just needs filling, Santa. Pretty please.

And whilst 3D technology polarises opinion like a marmite-covered Mourinho, I, for one, am willing to buy into the revolution. Come Christmas morning, let's hope Mummy and Daddy Brown share that strong belief and have a Sony Bravia HX803 stationed under the tree.

In truth, I'll probably end up with a Marks & Spencer voucher, a pair of Spurs slippers, and a bottle of aftershave. Like always.

What's your new year's resolution?

I will not buy a white iPhone 4 the minute it comes out. I will not buy a white iPhone 4 the minute it comes out. I will not buy a white iPhone 4 the minute it comes out.

Come spring 2011, you'll most likely find me babbling the above words outside the Apple Store, Bluewater, with a dangerously outstretched wallet. If you do, remind me as politely and convincingly as you can that an albino iPhone 5 will probably rear its blanc head in June, so there's really no point in upgrading now.

Over and over again.