Gaming historians believe that there was once an age when developers didn't update their games. Instead, video game makers just released their products and that was it.
Sounds fairly unlikely to me. I mean, how did they fix all the bugs? Checkmate, historians. I await your response.
In this more 'enlightened' age, though, our Android and iOS games are patched more heavily and more frequently than a repenting chain smoker.
So, to help you keep up with the gaming firmware update deluge, we'll be bringing you a weekly round-up of noteworthy new levels, characters, and bug fixes for iOS and 'droid games, as well as the weirdest and silliest patch notes going.
Right, let's get this patch party started...Organ Trail: Director's Cut
By The Men Who Wear Many Hats - buy on iPhone and iPad
or buy on Android
People don't seem to like it when games end, I hear.
Well, that's no longer a problem for retro zombie survival gem Organ Trail: Director's Cut
Endless Mode is the big new feature in a well-stocked update, which also includes new loadouts and modifiers, 40 extra on-the-road events, and a "suicide" difficulty level.
Cheery.Ravenmark: Scourge of Estellion
By Witching Hour Studios - buy on iPhone and iPad
is one of the 'chunkier' turn-based strategy games available on iOS, having already received three sizeable new campaigns since its debut.
Now, there's a fourth.
Raven's Rise is its name, and delivering ten hours of meaty gameplay is its aim.
If you own the premium edition of Ravenmark: Scourge of Estellion
, then Raven's Rise is free. Those opting for the episodic version will have to pay up for the privilege.Wake the Cat
By Halfpixel - buy on iPhone and iPad
This charming little puzzler only came out nine days ago, but Halfpixel has already issued a content update for it.
Not just any content update, either. 15 new levels, thank you. Well, thank Halfpixel, technically.
You know what I mean, though.
To be honest, Wake the Cat
's creator / master could include anything in its software patches as long as that little cat is in it. Just look at how happy he is when you roll the yarn into his face! Daaaw.Whale Trail
By ustwo - download free on iPhone and iPad
or buy on Android
Grass grows, sun shines, whales fly, and... wait, what?
We've had over a year to get used to the idea of a whale soaring above the clouds, but Whale Trail
remains endearingly odd.
The latest update to ustwo's endless-flyer continues this bizarro theme, offering you the chance to "come join Wendy in her Raceway in space!"
32 new levels await if you take ustwo up on such a tempting proposition.Hyperwave
By CatFishBlues - download free on iPhone and iPad
or buy on Android
Blasting aliens never gets old, though we weren't entirely impressed with Hyperwave
's variation on the theme in our review.
The inclusion of an in-app purchase for boosting the number of continues available was a particular sore point. Good news: that's gone.
In fact, all IAPs have vanished from the game, and after a bit of price juggling it's now free.
On top of that, CatFishBlues has carried out some engine improvements and device optimisation to complement the game's best feature: its looks.
The inaugural 'Patch Notes of the Week Awards'
The runners-up, for services to punning, are:Wake the Cat
: "We've made some tweaks to make sure the gameplay is absolutely PURRfect!"Whale Trail
: "It's krilliant!"
This week's winner, for macabre confusion, is:Organ Trail
: "Added ability to tweet your tombstone."