Monty Python's Cow Tossing

There are three things foreigners think they know about us Brits: we drink a lot of tea, we're all either somehow related to royalty or live 'oop norf' with a penchant for brass bands, and every single one of us loves Monty Python.

I might be alone, but when it comes to Monty Python, it's safe to say I just don't get it.

Lacking laughs

Zed's Python cash-in is certainly loyal to its own franchise – the mere idea of cow tossing should immediately prick up the ears of any fans – but there's one other name the game arguably takes far more inspiration from: Angry Birds.

Dress it up as they might, the developers can't hide the fact that Monty Python's Cow Tossing is a blatant Angry Birds clone.

It even uses animals – four of which are birds, with pigs, cows, sinks, and insults also included in the roster – as projectiles, the targets being a clutch of English knights intent on taking over a French castle.

The idea is to fling said objects – some coming with projectiles of their own, which can be dropped on targets on cue – from a catapult, taking out knights that slowly wheel their way towards your fort on top of a siege tower.

As both your catapult and arsenal begin to ramp up in power, so the enemy becomes fiercer, with its contraptions becoming increasingly difficult to penetrate. As the game progresses, the cows - which can take out multiple targets in one go - eventually become the be-all-and-end-all of play.

Off the mark

The problem is, the targeting system Monty Python's Cow Tossing employs in the first place is universally awful. It's especially hard to gauge just how far down and back you need to pull the catapult to get even close to taking out the knights.

Also, most of the enemies come encased in various contraptions that only seem to react to specific projectiles, shot at very particular angles, making Monty Python's Cow Tossing a far more finite experience than it really needs to be.

Throw in the general jerky nature of play – a touch of slowdown is an occasional feature – and you have a game that misses the simplistic but expertly delivered appeal of Angry Birds by a mile.

Monty Python's Cow Tossing is neither funny nor entertaining, which arguably makes it the perfect fit for the franchise, but sadly means its status as a game in the first place is far more questionable.

Monty Python's Cow Tossing

Loyal to the franchise but lacking as a game, Monty Python's Cow Tossing is a poor Angry Birds clone that will severely test your sense of humour
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Keith Andrew
Keith Andrew
With a fine eye for detail, Keith Andrew is fuelled by strong coffee, Kylie Minogue and the shapely curve of a san serif font. He's also Pocket Gamer's resident football gaming expert and, thanks to his work on PG.biz, monitors the market share of all mobile OSes on a daily basis.