Adult games don't often succeed in squeezing any wit into their titles. Generally, they'll be generic games prefixed with the word 'sexy'. Just look at Sexy Poker, Sexy Puzzle 2, Sexy Soccer and Sexy Blocks for a few examples. Sexy Twins 1 doesn't exactly buck the trend, but the 'Twins' mentioned aren't really twins at all. They're breasts. Oh, how we chortled. Not satisfied with a simple objectifying aside, Sexy Twins 1 also chooses to slap a comically unnecessary '1' at the end, as if to claim 'Oh yes, there will be a sequel, this game really is that good'.
Well, unfortunately Sexy Twins 1 really isn't that good, but in the adult genre that doesn't mean Sexy Twins 2 won't crop up on the horizon shortly. We wait with bated breath.
Sexy Twins 1 is a rudimentary puzzler where you have to uncover matching pornographic images. The main game screen is made up of a number of little lipstick-mark icons that act like playing cards. You get to turn over two at a time, and after each reveal you're shown a near full-screen version of the image.
The idea is to match up all the porn pics in the quickest time possible, and the three difficulty levels, available from the outset, offer a reasonable spread of game lengths. Easy mode features just eight squares to turn over, while Medium and Hard have 20 and 30 respectively.
So far, we've reached a remedial GCSE level in game design, and unfortunately that's where Sexy Twins 1 sets up camp, staunchly refusing to move into more interesting territory. There's no real structure, as each play is a separate entity apart from an entry in the drab high score table. Sexy Twins 1 even forgoes the ultimate staple of the adult game, the unlockable gallery. Here you're forever forced to return to those little lip-smacked squares to get your thrills.
Although it omits these key elements, Sexy Twins 1 does include a two player mode. The perturbing mutual masturbatory overtones of playing such a mode were a little too much to handle for a real-world test, but we're reliably informed that it's much the same as the single mode, except that it's a turn-based affair where a successful match means the player stays on for another turn, thus proving himself the alpha male (or female) and clearly worthy of some gratuitous shots of a voluminous pair of breasts.
On the subject of breasts, they're what all the pictures are very much focused on, hence the title. Each image generally features the torso of a naked young lady, limelight-stealing breasts on show.
The quality of the pictures is above-average too, with a very clean look for what is obstensibly a dirty game. There's little sign that the images have been particularly compromised, apart from in sheer size terms, for the mobile handset. This may also explain the game's fairly weighty 448KB of data.
However, aside from the quality of the images, Sexy Twins 1 comes with little to commend. Then again, if all you're looking for is a nice selections of breasts to look at, constantly available in your pocket, then Sexy Twins 1 might be right up your alley.
Sexy Twins 1
As a breast showcase, Sexy Twins 1 succeeds fairly well, but as a game, it's thumbs down
