Rambo Forever

The new Rambo flick was great. So was Rocky 6. We say this not to stir up a film buff debate on whether Sly should either be packed off to the retirement home or carry on his winning streak and make Cobra 2, however.

Actually, Cobra 2 sounds like a really bad idea.

Anyway, the point is, we were moderately excited about the world's most celebrated Green Beret coming to the mobile screen, and equally intrigued as to what form his mobile debut would take. There are some well-ingrained expectations as to what the Rambo mythos should provide, of course, so it's really just a matter of how the M60 machine gun works during play.

Indeed, Rambo Forever (is that title a sideways dig at Stallone's pensionable age?) does place the soldier's famous hip-mounted weapon at the core of the gameplay.

It actually harks back almost as far as the original First Blood movie, to a classic coin-op Uzi-fest some of you will know and love: Operation Wolf. The steadily sideways moving environment and 2D, multi-levelled parallax scrolling zones all cry Wolf, as do the enemy characters who run on from the sides for their walk-on part in the war.

With a manly rendition of Johnny in the bottom corner – machine gun mounted on hip – your task is to work your way up river annihilating and decimating indiscriminately. The only unusual quirk to the shooter gameplay mechanics is the fire button. Pressing it once turns the M60 on, and bullets stream from the barrel non-stop, while a second press switches it off.

Once you've realised this is how the game works, it becomes quite a simple matter, and attention can go on manoeuvring the crosshair about the screen. Should Rambo take a bullet, however, he inadvertently lets go of the trigger, so consideration must also be paid when under fire – lest you find yourself standing there merrily providing target practice for the Viet Cong equivalent of the Three Stooges.

The enemies are completely without intelligence, simply following a path as predetermined as Rambo's 'on rails' trek through the jungle. Gunning down a line of enemies verges on the comical, as their hats fly off in sequence and they hit the floor like grounded synchronised swimmers. Gun towers, gunships, boats and trucks also cross the mostly empty screen on occasion, and are quickly dispatched with a grenade.

The action can't really be described as fraught, as never more than five shambling enemies enter the play area at any one time, and all move slowly enough that even the sedate pace of the crosshair seems unfair.

Rambo Forever is a tragically easy game, and surmounts to not much more than going through repeated motions until reaching the end of the reasonably long levels (when Colonel Trautman appears to exchange some nonsensical one liners with his witless protégé).

The Rambo movies have gone from superb (First Blood) to brain-meltingly awful (Rambo III), and despite Johnny's one dimensional onscreen life, his first mobile venture is shallower than a pool of South Asian soldier's blood.