But when someone says they're defining a new gaming paradigm with a "ubiquitous cellular mobile gaming wi-fi hot spot", complete with over-clocked CPU, fluorescent LEDs and GPS, we figure what the hell, this should be fun.
So, meet the H_T, a new device that's been unveiled at CTIA in Las Vegas by Meshcentric, with a press release that made us double-check that it hadn't come out on April 1st.
It's part handset, part wi-fi router, and part disco lightshow. CEO Scott Fry's quotes are unimprovable:
"I was influenced by rogue gamers building incredibly powerful gaming computers. I was more attracted by the measure of performance driven accessories being used to optimize their over-clocked CPUs which broke all the rules. I incorporated that same concept into the design of the H_T. Screw the rules and give me some more of that LED light show."Gaming is one of the device's main features, using GPS, with a game called VR Warrior apparently under development for release this Christmas.
The following is a huge long quote about the game, but it's worth including in full. Trust us.
"Your HUD (Heads Up Display) or arm mounted screen will show you virtual or real enemy activity. But be careful, enemy hackers might be spoofing more troops and enemy aircraft in the area. Then you will need to send a on the ground recon group or UAV to verify the activity. This could also be utilized in Urban Terrain scenarios where your company is taking on a live and virtual threat.Do you think Tetris will also get released for it?
"Half the team maybe remotely engaged in assisting you against the cyber threat and managing the entire operation. This scenario is very similar to a Squadron Command in a TOC (Tactical Operations Command). The other part of the company is en route to the next geocache where the assignment is then downloaded. As you approach, it recognizes that you are within 30 yards of the designated position. It then deploys the next mission to your PDA. This area could be defined by setting it up in the game and uploading them as waypoints to the gaming software.
"Your next assignment is to progress toward 38.9 W 72.4 E and clear the area of enemy insurgents. Now it is easy to see where GPS now becomes the common denominator between virtual and real as both can exist and move the gamers onto a more physical virtual gaming application."
Anyway, Fry also says that VR Warrior will be offered as a training option to the military, that it's got a wi-fi range of 5,280 feet, that there'll be a waterproof version for boats, and that it can be paired up with a video camera to let women transmit live video of a stalker to the police.
We didn't make that last bit up. Or, indeed, any of it. Even if the H_T is a great big wind-up, we love it.
The Meshcentric website doesn't give any further details, but it does have a photo of another product called a "prototype air sniper". Which we'll have to look into in more detail, clearly.
In the meantime, Meshcentric's CTIA press release is well worth a read in full, while perusing the strange product shot above.