Heavy Fuel Motor Racing

There's something rather calming about Heavy Fuel Motor Racing.

Cruising lazily down the snaking tarmac strip, weaving your chopper casually through fellow bikers as palm trees and parasols heave in and out of view, you'd be forgiven for thinking you were out for a pleasant Sunday drive.

We have a feeling, however, that 'leisurely weekend jolly' was not the vibe Fugumobile was going for when designing this Hells Angels-inspired motorcycle racer.

Take the game's title: an ugly combination of testosterone-soaked words pulled exclusively from The Big Book of Manly Things (only available in hardback, natch).

Then, there's the game's vehicle of choice: a ruddy great Harley Davidson, a.k.a. the blokiest vehicle in human history.

Easy rider

It's somewhat surprising, then, to discover that Heavy Fuel Motor Racing is such a sedate affair.

Though the game features five tracks in five different locations, not one of them offers the gnarly thrills you might expect from barrelling along on the back of a giant petrol-powered BMX.

In fact, the most appropriate description of Heavy Fuel Motor Racing's driving experience would be 'smooth'. There's rarely any need to lift your finger off the accelerator except to push the steering keys.

However, even when turning, the corners are forgiving enough to let you use the combination steer-and-accelerate buttons rather than interrupt your 315kph cruising speed.

Poor mileage

Speaking of smoothness, special mention must go to the animation of the track. You see, the grey ribbon of tarmac unspools towards you with a grace rarely seen in Java titles.

Regrettably, your competitors' movements are not so silkily animated. All too often, wonky collision detection causes them to judder annoyingly off the bottom of the screen when they should be choking on your dust.

The lack of a championship mode is another peculiar oversight, one which forces you to chase high scores on a race-by-race basis - races in which you can easily earn a pole position finish on your very first run.

Once you've bested Heavy Fuel Motor Racing's five courses, you find the game's petite petrol tank is suddenly empty. And with a tank that small, it's difficult to recommend the vehicle.

Heavy Fuel Motor Racing

Impressive animation can't make up for Heavy Fuel Motor Racing's lack of modes, questionable collision detection system, and short lifespan
Score
James Gilmour
James Gilmour
James pivoted to video so hard that he permanently damaged his spine, which now doubles as a Cronenbergian mic stand. If the pictures are moving, he's the one to blame.