Fats the Pig: Another Pound

Just when we thought it was safe to go shopping for mobile phone games again, along comes the sequel to one of the pointless games we've ever played. Devoid of reason, logic, entertainment and skill, Fats the Pig contained three sports events of such staggering blandness that playing the game seemed to suck away at our very will to live.

But this is the sequel, so all the lessons of the first game have been learnt and the developer has improved upon it in every respect.

Nah, not really.

Living up to the subtitle of Another Pound, Fats The Pig 2 is pretty much more of the same. So you get moderately impressive graphics and animation that have been cruelly welded on to a game lacking in any of the attributes usually associated with the medium of gaming.

Once again, the object is to play through three individual events in either a Training mode or a Challenge one. Training gives you the chance to practice any of the three events individually, leading you on to the Challenge mode, which, understandably, you'd expect to involve more of a 'challenge'. Possibly involving some sort of score, distance or time to beat, you'd think.

Alas not. All the mode enables you to do is play through the three events in succession, with your score accumulating as you go.

"But what of the events themselves?", you ask. Good question, and here's a breakdown of all three:

Weightlifting
Press the '5' button to raise the weights and keep pressing it to increase your power bar. If the bar drops below a certain level, then the round's over. Keep going and you'll earn yourself a 'Mega Bonus'.

Long Jump
Another button basher, again you need to hammer the '5' button, only this time you try to press '2' when you're in-between two lines to jump. Then, depending on the amount of power you had when you took off, you'll fly through the air (as only a pig can) and hopefully land in the sand pit at the end of the track.

Javelin (spelled 'Javlein' in the game)
Exactly the same as the Long Jump event, only instead of jumping you throw a javelin through the air – with predictable enough results.

In fairness to the game (and we really have been trying to be just that), Another Pound is slightly more appealing than the first Fats The Pig title, but when you consider that this was one of the most uninteresting games we'd ever played first time around, that's hardly glowing praise.

The gameplay will only keep you amused for the time it takes for you to realise that the money you spent of this game could have been better spent on something else. Which isn't very long at all. In fact, you could probably throw the money down a drain and achieve the same effect. Avoid.