Erotic Solitaire with Adele Stephens

Being a critic isn't as straightforward and safe as you might think. While it's fair to assume the job of providing your opinion on things isn't normally fraught with danger (unless you're reviewing an underwater shark-feeding performance), there are still moments when your life is held in the balance by a very delicate thread.

Take, for example, this humble game. Without giving too much away (there's a lady who will do that for you), this is a solitaire simulation with an adult theme. In this case, you earn yourself a picture of a woman for every game of cards you win. The more games you win, the more clothes she sheds.

Unfortunately though, I'm a simple man with simple tastes and am (or was) completely ignorant of Adele Stephens – the star of the game. Naturally, and with a fair degree of embarrassment, I took it upon myself to do some online research.

This isn't something I recommend you do yourself, unless you plan on taking up a career in gynecology, as it would appear that Ms Stephens is one of the UK's better-known glamour models, and there's no shortage of photos of her without any clothes on.

What's so dangerous about that you might ask? In theory, nothing. In practice though, it just so happened that my wife walked past just while I was in the middle of my 'research'. Some quick talking and a handy commission saved my life. It's a valuable lesson to all those who are planning on being such reviewers in the future: always get a commission. Or a good pre-nup.

But back to the game.

Perhaps what's most surprising about it is that despite Adele Stephens' best efforts to distract you, this is actually a decent version of solitaire game, Klondike. Roughly half the pack of cards are dealt out into a series of decreasing rows and the end card of each one is turned over. With the help of the remaining cards and a smattering of luck, the idea is to stack up all the cards – from Ace to King – in four piles by moving sequentially lower cards onto the ends of the piles.

Like most card games, it's difficult to explain but very simple to pick up. Especially as it's the game of patience that's come free with every PC since computing time began. The difficulty level is also set quite low, meaning that you stand a very good chance of winning around 50 percent of the games you play.

This also means that it's only likely to be a couple of hours before the lovely Adele has revealed everything. But, as we've already discovered, there's far more of her to be found online if you wish to see it, making this an experience best limited to either truly completist fans of Adele Stephens or mobile solitaire games.