Crazy Hospital

Plenty of people have bad tales to tell about the NHS, recounting hours lost in A&E waiting rooms or going into hospital with a broken leg and coming out with a multitude of viruses and infections.

But as negative as these yarns might be, I've yet to have anyone tell me that they've woken up in a hospital garbage pile, surrounded by used syringes or bloody bandages.

That's the position in which you'll find yourself in Crazy Hospital, which is an altogether freakier take on a trip to see the doctor. There are no nursing angels here, but rather a crew of brutes and security guards roaming the game's extensive halls and corridors, all of whom attack you on sight.

It's all viewed from above, and most of your time is spent plodding around these same aisles, picking up weaponry, fixing any injuries you sustain and hacking into computers to find out just what has happened to you.

Lead star Vince Craze wakes up with a severe case of amnesia, the game cleverly using computer points dotted around every level to fill in the blanks and feed you the plot drip after drip.

It gradually builds the tension, also serving as a handy dose of motivation, meaning you'll have absolutely no gripes about taking down anyone that blocks your path.

Such fighting makes up the bulk of play, and whether you're holding a shotgun or a scalpel (Crazy Hospital places a vast array of guns, axes and knives at your disposal), getting as close as you can to your assailant and hammering away on the '5' key is the backbone of combat.

That doesn't make for the most sophisticated gameplay, and Crazy Hospital also makes switching tactics mid-battle almost impossible. Bringing up the weapon change screen with the '*' key bizarrely doesn't pause play, meaning you can be long dead by the time you actually drop one weapon for another. The best tactic here is to pick just one weapon per bout and to stick to it.

Menu screens aside, generally staying alive in this environment isn't always easy, with Vince relying on a steady stream of health packs and drugs either dropped by your enemies as they hit the floor or hidden in lockers or cupboards dotted around the rooms to keep ambling forward.

Exploration balances out Crazy Hospital's combat and the game's beautifully designed stages are simply huge.

As you move up via a lift system that prevents any repeat play of past levels, each area you encounter is split into several rooms, only appearing on screen once you've opened its door. This has the added bonus of making each level much more manageable, as rooms you've previously visited stay lit, keeping you from getting lost or searching rooms you've already plundered.

This is more than just mere dressing, as there's the great potential in Crazy Hospital to spend a lot of time doing very little, with Vince's standard walking pace making travelling through often largely baron rooms a lengthy task.

He can run (achieved by double tapping the direction you wish to head in), but there's a case to make that progress is just a little bit too pedestrian, especially when juxtaposed with the medical mayhem that kicks off when you enter some rooms populated by foes out for your blood.

But pacing aside, there's enough here to suggest that, even though Crazy Hospital's fight-walk-fight-walk mentality might not be especially original, the action on tap will satisfy most gamers. HandyGames's patient palaver is full of character in both its plot and its visual style, offering up the kind of tonic that's certainly worth queuing an hour or two for.