Kung Fu Infinity
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| Kung Fu Infinity

If Carl Douglas had ever got his hands on Kung Fu Infinity, there's a fair chance pop history would have been changed forever.

While it's possible he'd have still found kung fu fighting just that little bit frightening – albeit for entirely different reasons – there's no way the concept of those cats being 'as fast as lightning' would ever have made it off his notebook.

Indeed, any play time whatsoever with THQ's ode to martial arts would have probably resulted in him writing a tune about something more entertaining, like watching an episode of MasterChef, or asking a shop assistant in PC World which graphics card you should buy.

Mini-game, mini-fun

To be fair, there's as much of a connection to real kung fu in Kung Fu Infinity as there is between Cheryl Cole and singing in tune.

Instead, this is a rhythm-action title compounded by quick-time events and full of mini-games that do nothing to enhance the reputation of kung fu, or entertain those who somehow manage to struggle through the game.

The main problem is that, as a game, Kung Fu Infinity never really gets going.

After following a rather confusing set of instructions – which take the form of images, rather than text – you're presented with the opportunity to play one of eight mini-games, each one falling back on two elements: a sense of timing, and an ability to spot and follow set patterns.

Same old drain on your brain

That's because each one is essentially the same game, albeit with the setting altered a touch in an attempt to keep things fresh.

For example, 'dexterity training' is a case of either ducking or jumping – pressing up or down on the D-pad – to avoid spears being thrust at you from either side.

Likewise, having a crack at 'body balance' involves switching between two keys, this time left and right, as you look to stay atop a short post on one leg.

Even fighting is much of a muchness, scores of silhouettes approaching you from either side, the only task being to time your thwacks left and right.

Bizarrely, it only takes button press slightly out of time to end each game.

Though achieving the highest score possible in whatever play time you manage to grab is the aim, in truth it's scant motivation, with each game lasting seconds. Kung Fu Infinity makes no attempt to link them up beyond a rather token achievements system.

It's a game without a game. Kung Fu Infinity does little more than string together eight rather mediocre games out of one, simple action – the ability to press buttons when you're told to.

Kung Fu Infinity

With little actual gameplay to speak of, Kung Fu Infinity collection of banal rhythm-action mini games is nothing we've not seen before, and nothing we'd like to see again
Score
Keith Andrew
Keith Andrew
With a fine eye for detail, Keith Andrew is fuelled by strong coffee, Kylie Minogue and the shapely curve of a san serif font. He's also Pocket Gamer's resident football gaming expert and, thanks to his work on PG.biz, monitors the market share of all mobile OSes on a daily basis.