California Sexy Exposed

The star of this game is Teri Harrison. Who? That's what I said, but a quick nosey on Google Images reveals she's blonde, curvaceous, and appears equally at home soaping herself up in a shower or sprawling on a beach. Both naked, obviously.

Yes, Teri's a Playboy model, although she's now made the step up into mobile game stardom, courtesy of Hands On Mobile.

And at a time when many mobile gamers still choose what games to buy based on seeing the titles on an operator portal, California Sexy Exposed should do well, being the ultimate 'does what it says on the tin' game.

Teri's from California, she's sexy, and in this game she's certainly exposed, although possibly not as much as the average drooling Nuts reader would like.

Let's see if you recognise the gameplay, though. You control a heart-shaped pointer that you move around the screen, fencing off sections without running into roaming enemies.

Yes, it's Qix again, making California Sexy Exposed effectively the same game as Hands On's X-Men: The Last Stand – Mind Maze, which we reviewed here last week. Except with more boobs, and less super-powered mutants, obviously. Unless Teri's got a dodgy genetic secret that she hasn't told anyone about.

Hands On is billing this game as "the raunchiest action puzzler ever", which will come as a surprise to anyone who played Jordan Uncovered, which used the same gameplay mechanic, but with its star fully topless, rather than coyly covered up, as is the case in the version of California Sexy Exposed that we reviewed.

It's possible that Hands On will release multiple versions, of course, with one for the more prudish operators, and another more raunchy edition to flog in the back pages of lad mags.

But what to make of the game, given that we've just reviewed Mind Maze? The gameplay is still pretty slick, with an increasing difficulty level as new screens offer more enemies to avoid. And the scoring system is still well graded, giving you points according to how much of the screen you can fence off, and how many enemies you get rid of by enclosing them.

The quality of the photography is decent too, with Teri donning a different outfit for each level (although whoever came up with the 'Would you like to see my pom-poms?' line for the cheerleader level should hang their head in shame, and leave the mobile industry to write scripts for one of those fruity digital TV babe-phone-in channels.)

We can't help wondering how big a draw Teri is for UK gamers though. Were Abi Titmuss or Nikki from Big Brother not available? Actually, maybe it's a smart move to go Californian...

If you're into your games, you're probably better off giving California Sexy Exposed a miss. It doesn't provide a lasting challenge, and there are plenty of better puzzle games out there.

But there's no point being sniffy about it. For its audience, this game is a harmless and fun time-killer.

California Sexy Exposed

Star Teri isn't exactly exposed, but this Qix clone is good for a laugh
Score
Stuart Dredge
Stuart Dredge
Stuart is a freelance journalist and blogger who's been getting paid to write stuff since 1998. In that time, he's focused on topics ranging from Sega's Dreamcast console to robots. That's what you call versatility. (Or a short attention span.)