Hot Cross Bunnies

However cross Inlogic's band of bunnies might claim to be, it's likely to pale in comparison to the temperament of anyone who installs this rabbit rumble on their phone.

Hot Cross Bunnies is neither broken, nor is it offensive. It's not too complicated and, though it's unlikely to win any design awards for its visuals, the graphics are perfectly functional.

Indeed, if you were to compile a list of typical no-nos your average negative review on Pocket Gamer picks up, it's unlikely you'll find any of them mentioned here.

That's not because Hot Cross Bunnies's gameplay is in any way exemplary.

Rather, it's because it doesn't exist.

The Hot Cross Bunnies 'experience' – for want of a better word – is split into two modes: memory and quickness. The former offers the most extended form of play, though it's unlikely even this mode will come close to monopolising your time.

The idea is simple: rabbits pop out of warren holes mapped to match the buttons on your keypad. As in a game of Whac-a-Mole, you're tasked with thwacking their bonces as quickly as you can by hitting the corresponding keys on your phone.

Hit the wrong button a few times and you're kicked off. Games often last for no more than 30 seconds as a result.

The rather confusing set of instructions that pitch play as a take on memory card game Pelmanism (a game Hot Cross Bunnies never actually attempts to emulate) only serves to undermine your chances.

Even briefer is the quickness mode. Here, the rabbits pop up all at once, flooding the screen within the space of a minute. The more bunnies you knock down, the more points you accumulate, with play coming to a close at the end of the 60 seconds.

There's no structure to the game, however. The only way to proceed is to smash all the buttons on your keypad at random. Not only is this likely to lessen the lifespan of the mobile taking the beating, but it's also ruddy annoying.

It's hard to say whether Hot Cross Bunnies qualifies as a game in the first place. It feels far more like the kind of observational exercise you might expect to encounter at the opticians, or, in the case of enforced repeated play, a torture session over at Guantanamo Bay.

Those who part with their cash won't be too concerned about whether Hot Cross Bunnies is a game or not, in truth. They'll be too busy trying to flush their phone down the toilet.