Formula Racing: Ultimate Drive

To be blunt, Formula Racing: Ultimate Drive is the gaming equivalent of wanting a Bugatti and getting that yellow Fiat from The Inbetweeners.

Ugly, sluggish, fiddly to control, and blessed with a soundtrack that doubles as a promotional tool for Nurofen, this is a wreck of racing game that really shouldn’t have been pushed out of the development garage.

There are four modes to try out, including Quick Race, Time Attack, and a half-hearted effort at multiplayer racing (Hot Seat handset sharing), but the lengthy World Cup mode should be the real draw for motorsport fans.

Based on your performance in events, you earn more cash to spend on upgrading your ride with better tyres, engines, and furrier dice (one of these may be fictional).

The problem is a handling model that feels about as much like driving a supercar as opening a cupboard.

With auto-acceleration permanently on, your main job is to tap small arrows on either side of the screen to steer in the appropriate direction and keep clear of the other polygonal racers.

Helpfully, the brake key is awkwardly placed to the left of the screen - in a spot your thumb can never quite find without risk of joint injury. So, as you gamely wrestle for steering control, you’ll often overshoot corners because you can’t slow down (often ending up in a grey abyss, thanks to some nasty clipping issues).

Damage is highlighted on a car icon, with red spots generally considered a bad sign, adversely affecting your handling. Crash a handful of times and you’re out of the race.

If the handling issues and lack of polish don’t put you off Formula Racing: Ultimate Drive, then the blocky, Java-esque graphics, paucity of sound effects (the engines don’t make so much as a squeak), and keyboard demo music will drive you to find another distraction.

Put simply, this wreck of driving game needs to get off the road and let the real racers through.