Dirty Dynamite Girls

There is something a bit sinister about anime porn. Those stick-thin characters, with busts so exaggerated that Lara Croft's digital cleavage appears lifelike by comparison, generally look worryingly young and frightened.

Or so we're told.

The panicked expressions of the wide-eyed nymphets that feature in Dirty Dynamite Girls, however, stem from a genuine cause for alarm. That's because if you don't figure out how to get their kit off quickly, they are going to explode – and not in a good way. Dirty Dynamite Girls is a puzzle game at heart, then, but one that relies on your powers of reaction and quick thinking rather than strategy or problem solving.

Upon loading up a new game, you are presented with a picture of a scantily clad anime girl, divided horizontally into four sections. After a few seconds, the image is jumbled and a burning fuse appears at the bottom of the screen.

The aim of the game is to enter the four digit code that represents the image in its correct order before the fuse burns all the way to the TNT and the poor frightened (yet somewhat aroused) anime girl is blown to untimely oblivion.

Do this correctly and you are rewarded by the remaining aspects of modesty being removed from the picture, thus revealing a frightened but now nude and still very much intact anime floozy. Fail more than three times, though, and it's game over and back to the start.

After you have managed to enter the correct code for the six images that make up the first level, the game loops back to the beginning but divides the images into five (and then on the third run, six) parts, thus increasing the difficulty. This simple structure is punctuated by the occasional bonus round, which simply divides the images vertically instead of horizontally.

Owing to the paltry offering of six different images, the desire to proceed is hindered by the feeling that you have reverted back to the mindset of a bored 14-year old. In fact, much of the game feels underdone. The limited assortment of images (not that we're lusting after a library of anime porn, but a bit of variation would be nice), and the fact that they always appear in the same order soon gets repetitive.

With only one mode, there isn't much in the way of variety. What's more, the frustration of having to start from the very beginning of the easiest stage after dying could have been easily avoided by separating the sets into selectable difficulty options from the main menu.

The time limit imposed by the burning fuse does make for a decent challenge, even on the easier early levels, but long before you reach the last stage of difficulty, the basic gameplay has already betrayed the game for what it is: a postage stamp-sized offering of anime porn with a facile and ultimately boring puzzle game lumped on top.

It's hard to imagine who this game is aimed at. Connoisseurs of animated erotica are bound to be getting their rocks off elsewhere, while the Nuts-reading crowd after an adult themed mobile game are more likely to be drawn to a title showcasing the latest glamour starlet in her birthday suit than one featuring a pervy cartoon character.

Whatever your thoughts on adult themed mobile games, there are quite a few of them now and, as with any genre, there are good and bad examples. Dirty Dynamite Girls falls firmly into the lower end of the latter category, as a title that isn't worth your time, let alone your money.