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The ten worst DS games of 2007

The ones we love to hate

The ten worst DS games of 2007
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DS

While 2007 has seen some of the best games ever released on DS, it's also sadly safe to say that this year's crop of worst games is, on average, considerably worse than last year's.

Why that should be the case is a bit of a worry. After all, the DS isn't difficult to develop for and the iron hand of Nintendo makes sure only top quality ideas are given permission to be made into games.

Hmm… Maybe like that other one-time paragon of security, prudence and trust (Mr G Brown), Nintendo's taken its eye of the ball somewhat. After all, it even managed to mess up some of its own prized possessions: Wario: Master of Disguise and Diddy Kong Racing DS anyone? No, we thought not.

Yet, that was as bad as Nintendo got, and in comparison to other publishers, it's a saintly performance. The list of real DS game criminals starts here.

Please don't waste your cash on any of these. (If you do have money to spend, consider our best DS games of 2007 selection instead.)

The ten worst DS games of 2007

10. Lost in Blue 2
Developer: Konami Hawaii
Publisher: Konami
Released: April
Score: 5/10


With the likes of Lost and Stranded proving popular on mobile, not to mention The Sims 2 Castaway on DS, the whole concept of being washed up on a deserted island should be well-understood. The real reason Lost in Blue 2 is an embarrassment, however, is that Konami clearly didn't learn anything from its first attempt at the genre. If anything, Lost in Blue 2 is a poorer game than the original Lost in Blue, with the food micro-management and the buddy relationship between the two characters intensely frustrating. We can only hope Konami's learnt enough from its two failures to make 2008's Lost in Blue 3 more successful.
9. Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix
Developer: EA
Publisher: EA
Released: July
Score: 5/10


The problems of turning high-profile movie licences into well-polished games are as long-lived as the industry itself. The reason that we find The Order of the Phoenix particularly depressing (as opposed to similarly disappointing attempts such as The Golden Compass, The Simpsons Game, Surf's Up and Shrek the Third) is that: 1) EA should know better; 2) it had loads of time to prepare so it can't claim this was a rushed job and; 3) it previously made Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DS, which was better. Most annoying, however, is that The Order of the Phoenix genuinely looks good and it features attempts at doing clever stuff (touchscreen gestures and mini-games, for instance). But the resulting limp and lifeless mess is decidedly mediocre.
8. Cake Mania
Developer: Digital Embryo
Publisher: Eidos
Released: May
Score: 4/10


2007 was the year that 'proper' game publishers caught the casual gaming bug, especially on DS. Nintendo's huge successes with Nintendogs and Brain Training had broken open the DS market, so everyone attempted to race in to feed this new, huge audience. The problem, however, is that the sort of experience casual and non-casual audiences require are very different. But the temptation to port a successful PC game directly to DS was too strong in the case of Cake Mania, and a rather shoddy experience it turned out to be. Bad graphics, tiny icons, plus some downright tedious sounds… it was more dried-up carrot cake than black forest gateau.
7. Dynasty Warriors DS: Fighter's Battle
Developer: Omega Force
Publisher: Koei
Released: August
Score: 4/10


Occasionally, anticipation for a game can drive us to too much enthusiasm and that was certainly the case with Koei's historical brawler Dynasty Warriors DS. The first set of screenshots got our juices racing, and even when we had worked out the graphics were sprite-based not proper 3D, we still thought the all-action battles, together with Obstacle Roulette System and wireless mode would ensure something new for DS gamers. Sadly we were mistaken, with the gameplay actually revealing itself to be highly repetitive (despite the generally short single-player campaign) and the whole experience characterised as nothing more than lacklustre.
6. Naruto: Path of the Ninja
Developer: TOSE
Publisher: D3Publisher
Released: October (US), TBA (Euro)
Score: 4/10


The problem with manga character Naruto (alongside similar brands such as Dragon Z) is that Japanese developers treat them like shovelware. They know there's a huge audience so they don't focus on making a good game, just on making something. It's a particular shame here because, unlike many generic role-playing games, there's an interesting core concept in terms of the 'demon fox' Naruto contains, as well as the interplay with his chums Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. A remake of a GBA game, however, Path of the Ninja doesn't look or play like a real DS game should and suffers from a lack of challenge as the game progresses. Sloppy stuff.
5. Lifesigns: Hospital Affairs
Developer: Spike
Publisher: Jowood
Released: November (US), February (Euro)
Score: 4/10


Not all copycat games are bad. Like sequels, copying an existing game can be an excellent foundation in terms of what works and what needs to be improved. That said, when copycat games go wrong, you get some of the worst games in the world. To be honest, we didn't really like Trauma Center: Under the Knife much anyhow. Of course, it was one of the first games to make heavy use of the touchscreen but the infamous difficulty peaks, alongside a wacky backstory, made it a not altogether fun experience. In copying Trauma Center, however, developer Spike seems to have completely over-compensated, making a game that's almost an interactive novel, with screens of innate dialogue and hardly any gameplay. The result left us as cold as a corpse lying on a morgue slab.
4. B-17 Fortress in the Sky
Developer: Skyworks
Publisher: Zoo
Released: September
Score: 3/10


When it comes to games such as B-17 Fortress in the Sky, you have to feel some sympathy for the people involved. There's a kernel of a good idea wrapped somewhere deep in its bomb bay: we talk, of course, of the way you can toggle between the different gun positions on the B-17. Properly presented, they could have created both a fast-moving action shooter, as well as bringing out some of the community and danger those aircrews faced. As it is however, the enemy fighters move so fast you don't have a chance of shooting them down, and it doesn't seem to make much difference if you do. The real mess though is the bombing parts of the game, which are just rubbish. Plus the fact you then get to repeat everything two dozen times without any variation. What a waste.
3. MinDStorm: Train Your Brain
Developer: ASK
Publisher: 505 Games
Released: May
Score: 3/10


As already discussed, the copycat process isn't necessarily undesirable, but if you want an example of pure laziness you only have to consider MinDStorm: Train Your Brain. It's so bad, we wonder if developer ASK bothered playing Dr Kawashima's Brain Training, or just read the back of the box. Quirky narrator figure? Check. Some mini-games? Check. Vague insinuations of mental well-being? Sort of. This truly is a dreadful game, and considering the Brain Training games are not only excellent at what they provide but are also cheaper than the competition, you really have to wonder why publisher 505 Games bothered. Frankly, everyone involved should have their heads examined.
2. The Settlers
Developer: Blue Byte
Publisher: Ubisoft
Released: September
Score: 3/10


It's increasingly traditional that a highly regarded publisher somehow manages to mess up the game-making process so badly that it releases a much anticipated game in some sort of Ikea flatpack form, as if the task of working around the bugs will provide gamers with extra stimulation. Last year, it was LucasArts and Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy (a failing corrected by this year's excellent LSW: The Complete Saga). We doubt Ubisoft will be doing something similar with The Settlers, though. It isn't just the buggy nature of losing save games, the blip that left us unable to attack enemies or the incredible vanishing stores; the whole presentation is clunky and old-fashioned, especially in comparison to much better DS strategy games such as ANNO 1701. Our advice on this one, then, would be to keep on moving.
1. Deal or No Deal
Publisher: Koch Media
Released: December
Score: 1/10


It's probably no coincidence that the gameshow with the UK host who thinks the cosmos is sorting out his life is based around the belief that having 'a system' for opening red boxes will make you rich. But as much as we mock, the rich bit certainly worked for the publisher of the mobile version of the game in 2006, and no doubt sales will also be impressive when it comes to this DS, er, experience – we hardly dare call it a game because it doesn't contain anything remotely enjoyable or fun. What it is, however, is one of the most cynical attempts at cashing in on the Christmas commercial craze you're ever likely to come across.
Jon Jordan
Jon Jordan
A Pocket Gamer co-founder, Jon can turn his hand to anything except hand turning. He is editor-at-large at PG.biz which means he can arrive anywhere in the world, acting like a slightly confused uncle looking for the way out. He likes letters, cameras, imaginary numbers and legumes.