C.O.P. The Recruit

Dan Miles is a young, reckless, immature street racer. So naturally, after being picked up by the police on a criminal charge, he's offered a job on the force.

Why not fight fire with fire?

After all, C.O.P. The Recruit promises 'blistering, immersive action' and a 'real 3D visual experience'. And it is an experience alright. One I hope I never have to go through again.

The thing is, I could forgive the lazy controls and downright awful physics engine (or should that be lack of one?). Navigating the city by foot or car is made so much more difficult than it needs to be. But hey, we've seen worse, right?

I could even see past the clumsy, awkward interface - one that involves clicking your way through long and tiresome procedures to complete the simplest of tasks - and drone-like sound effects, if I really had to.

I could stomach all this if it weren't for the fact that C.O.P. lacks any personality whatsoever.

To put this in some sort of context, can you remember the first time you played House of the Dead 2 and found yourself laughing your entire way through due to the insanely terrible yet unintentionally hilarious dialogue? It was a sort of so bad it's good situation.

There are no such laughs where C.O.P.'s scripting is concerned. It is just bad full stop.

The story and characters are so dull that after three hours with the game, I still couldn't remember the protagonist's name, let alone anyone else's.

The missions are also incredibly generic and boring. Drive here, shoot these identically dressed enemies, chase this car, repeat en fin.

For the most part, you're smashing your way from A to B over and over. It's such a shame too, as the open-world city is really nice, making it feel like a chance of success squandered.

Perhaps the oddest factor however is the main character's role.

His criminal background, coupled with random meetings with old friends, suggest his past could bring out the worst in him. Yet his course of action throughout the game is one of always fighting crime.

Try to run down pedestrians in the street and they will always manage to dive out of harm's way, keeping our golden boy's reputation intact. Being able to choose between playing the good cop or bad cop could have made for a more bearable tale.

So when it comes down to it, the experience of playing C.O.P. The Recruit ends up being completely lifeless. I couldn't wait for it to finish.

What more damning evidence is needed that this is one recruitment drive you should avoid?