Blasted Thieves

Perhaps the oddest idiosyncrasy in this weak tower defence title is that one of the deadliest enemies is the humble paper plane.

Poised to complete the first mission without breaking a sweat, I had to watch helplessly as a folded fleet sailed past all of my meticulously upgraded defences, stole my treasure, and brought up the dreaded Game Over screen.

It was grossly unfair and smacked of a title that, aside from a few quirky touches, is unbalanced, distinctly rough around the edges, and quite simply a chore to play.

Sadly, Blasted Thieves is just another rudimentary tower defence title that brings barely any scraps of innovation to the genre’s table.

Enemies attack in waves from spawn points, while you funnel them through corridors of carefully placed weapons that slowly whittle down their health - hopefully, before they make it to your base (bizarrely represented by items like pies and pizzas).

The only smidgen of personality comes from the design of the encroaching armies (evil snowmen, tortoises, and those pesky paper planes) and your own towers, which run the strange gamut from paint guns to crossbows and catapults to fireworks.

Defeating enemies earns you cash to spend on tech trees of upgrades to each tower, which boost their power and range. Yet, with no real indication given as to what weapons damage what assailants (beyond the steeper prices of some units), the best tactic is often to fill the level with a mix of weaponry and hope for the best.

The tap controls for deployment and upgrading work well enough, although the irregular spaces for tower placement discourage traditional maze designs - meaning it’s common to end up with a gaping hole in your defences.

With 25 battlefields spread over six realms (all with slightly different, yet functionally illustrated, backgrounds), Blasted Thieves provides plenty of content bang for your buck.

Even when using the fast-forward icon, however, many levels take upwards of half an hour to complete (providing you don’t suddenly get wiped out and have to start over, anyway).

Frankly, that's a level of commitment Blasted Thieves’s uninspiring gameplay and lacklustre presentation just can’t sustain.