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E3: Disney keeps Game Boy Advance alive

…but should it be allowed to pass away with dignity?

E3: Disney keeps Game Boy Advance alive
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Gamers who want to subvert their younger relations by leading them astray from books and healthy outdoor pursuits might be pleased to hear about the slew of GBA titles Disney has announced at E3. There's something for everyone – provided everyone is under eight old and has never played a Mario game.

The most potentially Pocket Gamer reader friendly is a GBA title based on this summer's biggest pirate movie sequel, the Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightly vehicle Pirates of the Caribbean. (Erm, surely their vehicle is a pirate ship? – Ed). Due alongside the film in June, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest promises 15 islands composed of 50 side-scrolling maps to explore, sea battles and booty to plunder, and advanced pirate moves to unlock.

From here, alas, what seemed a good idea when we realised we hadn't received any Game Boy Advance news for a while goes rapidly downhill – unless you're a precocious six-year old who eats Splenda like Tic Tacs.

For instance, we can't imagine many of our regular readers will be greatly interested in Disney Princess: Royal Adventure. There are seven worlds and a variety of Disney Princesses to meet, but still, it's hardly Zelda is it? That the blurb in the press release about the $3 billion Disney Princess franchise outweighs the space given to actual game information is probably all you need to know.

The Little Mermaid, once a melancholy fairy tale, is also part of the singalong Disney Princess empire. She's getting her own game too though (the other Princesses must by fuming), The Little Mermaid: Magic in Two Kingdoms, which wraps together eight music-themed mini-games. There's no movie to stoke you into buying this one, but there is a two-disc DVD release of the original due out this autumn.

Finally, Disney's Little Einsteins, based on a TV kids show, isn't very likely to drag many gifted children away from their viola practice, French lessons, and bursts of glad-hearted choir singing. No, not even with the promise of six types of gameplay; when we saw one of the activities flagged up in the four point 'features' section of the press release was 'steering the rocket to avoid obstacles', we lost the will to carry on.

Okay Mr Nintendo, we agree. We loved it once, but maybe it is time to put the Game Boy out of its misery.