Game Reviews

TNA Wrestling iMPACT!

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| TNA Impact!
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TNA Wrestling iMPACT!
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| TNA Impact!

There's a point in the career mode of TNA Wrestling iMPACT!, Namco's attempt to bring the world of professional grappling to your Android-powered pocket, where you take on legendary grappler Hulk Hogan.

Oh dear, you might think, Hogan in his prime was a beast.

Except, this isn't The Hulkster in his '80s WWE pomp: this is a bald man with terrible facial hair.

'Thanks' to the game's graphics, he looks like an emaciated tramp who's stumbled into the ring looking for meth and some cardboard to sleep under.

Whilst you pound this OAP's face into the hallowed canvas of the TNA arena, you can't help but ponder that maybe you shouldn't be enjoying this quite so much.

Fighting talk

TNA Wrestling iMPACT! is a three-dimensional brawler that lets you take a Total Nonstop Action (TNA) superstar, or a wrestler of your own design, through the ranks all the way to the championship bout.

Context sensitive on-screen buttons control your punches, grapples, and shimmies around the ring, adapting their function to best fit the situation you find yourself in.

For example, if your opponent's on the floor, pressing the attack button will bring your boot crushing down onto their crotch or face, depending on your relative proximity.

If, on the other hand, your foe is running towards you, tapping attack will unleash a dropkick to their chest.

The X Factor

There are three career modes to wrestle your way through: Heavyweight, X-Division, and Tag Team.

The first two are solo affairs, which see you picking a singles combatant and tussling to the top of the tree. In Tag Team mode, you pick your perfect two-man team and swap between them dynamically during the bout.

The problem with all of the available modes is that, more often than not, you just end up doing the same thing, over and over. There are only so many times you can punch a man until he falls over, then stomp on his nether regions.

When you consider the almost embarrassingly pedestrian pace - as the plodding wrestlers shuffle aimlessly around the squared circle - and collision detection that means punches often don't even connect, you could be forgiven for counting TNA Wrestling Impact! out of the ring completely.

Macho Man

That disqualification would be premature, though. In spite of its flaws, the game still manages to capture the spectacular, sparkly nonsense of pro wrestling.

There are spats and ambushes, improvised weapons, and improbably breasted young women. In short, everything you'd expect from a wrestling adaptation.

It may be muddy and repetitive, and have no comprehension of subtlety or finesse, yet the game still manages to drag a surprising amount of satisfaction from the simple act of two sweaty, Lycra-clad females - sorry, males - trying to hurt each other.

TNA Wrestling Impact! is a lot like the feeling you get when you pound Hulk Hogan's face into the mat.

It's dirty and messy, like cracking your childhood over the skull with a steel chair. But, at the same time, it remains a helluva lot of fun.

TNA Wrestling iMPACT!

Despite being slightly clumsy and ugly, TNA Wrestling iMPACT possesses enough swagger and satisfyingly crunching violence to make it a guilty Lycra-clad pleasure
Score
Harry Slater
Harry Slater
Harry used to be really good at Snake on the Nokia 5110. Apparently though, digital snake wrangling isn't a proper job, so now he writes words about games instead.