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The Update Update: Puzzle Craft, Baldur's Gate, and more

PG's guide to the week in patches

The Update Update: Puzzle Craft, Baldur's Gate, and more

Gaming historians believe that there was once an age when developers didn't update their games. Instead, video game makers just released their products and that was it.

Sounds fairly unlikely to me. I mean, how did they fix all the bugs? Checkmate, historians. I await your response.

In this more 'enlightened' age, though, our Android and iOS games are patched more heavily and more frequently than a repenting chain smoker.

So, to help you keep up with the gaming firmware update deluge, we'll be bringing you a weekly round-up of noteworthy new levels, characters, and bug fixes for iOS and 'droid games, as well as the weirdest and silliest patch notes going.

Right, let's get this patch party started...

Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
By Gameloft - buy now on iPhone and iPad or buy now on Android

If you're looking for more dakka-dakka, ka-boom, or rat-a-tat-a-tat in your game, then Modern Combat 4 will probably satisfy you. Particularly after its most recent update.

Alongside some useful multiplayer tweaks - including improved balancing, reduced waiting times, and new weekly leaderboards - Gameloft has thrown two more boomsticks into the conflict. The "Tygr X3 Automatic SMG" and the "Compakt-665 Assault Rifle" are their names. Don't wear them out.

With these two poorly spelt weapons in Modern Combat 4's virtual arsenal, it's safe to say that Gameloft's popular FPS now contains more krrr-krrr and thwa-koom than you could possibly imagine. Possibly.

Puzzle Craft
By Ars Thanea - download free on iPhone and iPad

One for the pacifists now.

Match-three puzzler-cum-city-building game Puzzle Craft has a tidy new Treasure Hunt mode up its sleeve. In this mode, you are challenged to uncover treasure chests buried in the ground and display your trophies in the new Imperial Castle.

There are 20 new buildings in all - including the aforementioned emperor's digs and the mine shaft - as well as 11 new workers, 16 new tools, six new "super-powerful" unique tools, and 10 loot collections. Phew.

This update has all the numbers.

Air Patriots
By Amazon Game Studios and Lemon Team - download free on iPhone and iPad or download free on Android

There's something very pleasing about lining up a perfect attack run in Air Patriots, the tank-strafing defence game that's just received a neat little content patch.

A new map, imaginatively named "Skyland", and the Silver Finger aircraft are homing in on the target, along with new achievements, animations, and improved touch responsiveness.

Aircraft also level persistently now, which should please budding air marshals looking to construct their own personal squadron.

Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
By Overhaul Games - buy now on iPad

Fantasy gubbins inbound! Elminster has conjured up five new class kits for Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition out of the Weave and onto your iPad.

They are the Dwarven Defender, Shadowdancer, Dragon Disciple, Dark Moon Monk, and Sun Soul Monk.

Overhaul Games has made a few other tweaks here and there, such as UI changes and the ability to resurrect your multiplayer chums.

Subway Surfers
By Sybo Games - download free on iPhone and iPad or download free on Android

Rome is probably my favourite stop-off so far on the Subway Surfers World Tour.

The streets of the Eternal City are full of the sort of things you'd expect: aqueducts, ancient pillars, moped parks, and, of course, Easter Eggs.

Collect 100 of these Eggs, and you'll earn yourself a limited edition surfboard.

In terms of other new features in version 1.8.0 of Subway Surfers, there's a new character (Roberto), new boards, extra-strength upgrades for your jetpacks, coin magnets, and other power-ups.

Also, Italian train inspectors apparently dress in weird Easter Bunny outfits. Who knew?

Punch Quest
By RocketCat Games and Madgarden - download free on iPhone and iPad

I'll admit it: this one's basically in because it's got some golden patch notes (see below).

There are some interesting changes and additions in this new piece of firmware pie, though, including a new Power I skill, changes to the Punchos Doubler ability, and lower prices for the game's most expensive items.

Anyway, let's get on with the most important part of The Update Update...


PG's Patch Notes of the Week Awards

In third place this week is:

Punch Quest: "Stuff is easier to knock over."

This week's runner-up is:

Punch Quest: "More Larries in the Goaticorn segment."

This week's predictable winner is:

Punch Quest: "Egg Beater no longer gets consumed in Spartan mode."

Magnificent guff from the Punch Quest devs.

Jeremy Thackray
Jeremy Thackray
After spending three years being told how brilliant literature is, Jeremy occasionally gets confused between games and worthy old novels. He is eagerly anticipating Nintendo's collaboration with Tolstoy on Super War and Peace Land.