Exact physical revenge on your unfaithful partner in Assault the Cheating Boyfriend! for 3DS
"What's in a name?" Juliet Capulet asks during the second act of Shakespeare's most famous tragedy.
Well, Jules, if you took some time out of your busy schedule of sighing and suicide to play Assault the Cheating Boyfriend! Caught You Red-Handed
, you'd realise that the answer is "everything".
Dreamed up by the open-minded folks over at D3Publisher, Assault the Cheating Boyfriend!
for 3DS does pretty much exactly what it says on the tin.
In Assault the Cheating Boyfriend!
, you assume the role of a loved-up lassie who suspects that her partner is stepping out on her with another woman.
It's your job to search the suspected love rat's bedroom to find evidence of his supposed infidelity. This portion of the game plays out like a top-down adventure, albeit one with slightly creepy overtones.
Once you've rustled up something suitably incriminating, it's time to confront Mr Adulterer. These episodes involve Phoenix Wright
-esque interrogations, in which you use the evidence you've gathered to find holes in his excuses.
Best (worst?) of all: if you hold L + R and shake the 3DS, you can throw objects right at your partner's almost-certainly cheating face.
Just look at him: standing there, all smug and flame retardant. Don't you just want to lob a lipstick-smeared champagne flute at his smirking mush? OH, GOD, I HATE HIM SOOOOOOOO MUCH.
Incidentally, it probably won't surprise you to learn that Assault the Cheating Boyfriend!
is currently only available in Japan.
As there are no immediate plans for an English-language version, Western fans of trust issues and domestic abuse will just have to make do with a box set of Jerry Springer