FIFA World Cup 2006 DS

There's a watershed moment in every man's life when he has to accept he's probably not going to play professional football. For many of us it happens the first time you don't make the school team. Others get as far as trials for the lower division clubs before they're tempted by girls and booze. And for this particular pocket gamer, it was a recent five-a-side match that finally destroyed my dreams (and quite possibly my left knee too).

For some, however, it becomes clear much earlier in life that football just isn't in their genes. And it's into that group we might just have to assign the Nintendo DS.

Now you may think it's a little early to damn an entire genre of games on a handheld format when just two have appeared (and the previous one is the markedly similar predecessor FIFA 2006). Heck you may be right.

But then again, you probably haven't had to play FIFA World Cup 2006. Short of watching England in a penalty shoot-out, this has to go down as one of the most frustrating footballing experiences available.

Yes, the menu presentation is all very pretty, being liberally sprinkled with officially licensed logos, teams and up-tempo music(TM). And sure enough, there are a fair number of gameplay options, with one-off friendlies, challenges and multiplayer match-ups backing up the World Cup Finals.

But once you get out on the pitch, it all starts to go horribly wrong.

First into the book go the graphical glitches. Like a portly referee, the DS struggles to keep up with the action. When there are more than a handful of players on screen, the game starts to slow down, even in the zoomed out mode. Get up close (as in the replays, for instance), and the pixelly, angular players make real-life Wayne Rooney look like a supermodel. The crowd textures are just embarrassing and the subtle cloud effects overlaid onto the clashy pitch seem like an entirely unnecessary distraction. These suspect visuals also make it quite difficult to see when you actually have the ball, leaving you to either turn away without it or run into touch.

Not that the visuals can be solely blamed for this performance though, as questionable ball physics also plays its part. Although the basic controls themselves are solid (allowing for a surprising amount of subtlety, with through-balls, 1-2s and skill moves), in practice, the results can be less gratifying. Even the shortest pass tends to keep running until the ball goes out of play, while shots seem to come in two varieties – muffed dribble, or massively over-powered blast just over, wide or at the post. The fact that the keeper's reactions are equally haphazard – varying from uncanny positioning behind a bullet header to a despairing dive that palms the ball away but leaves a gaping goal mouth – hardly helps.

The resulting game isn't completely unplayable, but it's certainly made far harder than it should be (we struggled in the World Cup on even the easy setting). What's more, some elements of the user interface place great demands on your concentration. For example, the touchscreen's radar overview and quick tactics options are more a distraction than a help. If you glance away from the main action to try and use them, you'll more than likely have lost the ball in the meantime.

There are a few redeeming factors. The audio commentary and crowd sounds are amazingly atmospheric, and the highlights and replay system works well, as does a match simulation mode that enables you to let the DS play out events and jump in if required.

It's also true that despite the name, your entertainment isn't solely reliant on the World Cup. The Skill Challenges (based around free-kicks, corners and penalties) provide a surprisingly entertaining distraction, as well as being a more DS-friendly game dynamic. And the Global Challenge mode, with its shorter and initially simpler match situations (hang on to win the game, score an equaliser, win by two goals, and so on) shows the friendlier face the game.

Ultimately though, all these can do is salvage a few points. None are strong enough to carry the main World Cup mode or rescue the already ailing football reputation of the DS.

FIFA World Cup 2006 DS

Looks like Wayne Rooney, plays like Colleen – a disappointing outing for DS-owning footie fans
Score
Chris James
Chris James
A footy game fanatic and experienced editor of numerous computing and game titles, bossman Chris is up for anything – including running Steel Media (the madman).